Who You Spend Time With

    At the school I teach at we have begun to grow different plants. One time we were growing tomatoes. I could not believe how many tomatoes grew when we planted them! Then we picked them. Each child pointed to the one they wanted, and teachers helped them pull them off if they needed it. 

   One child saw a large tomato that was hidden within the tomato plants. It looked plump and big. I went to grab it but as I did another tomato came with it. On the opposite side of the large tomato, it was squishy and rotten because a tomato beside it was connected to it, and it was rotten. This large tomato that would have been good to eat was no longer good to eat because of the tomato next to it.

   Humans can act like those tomatoes. You can be a Christian who is following the Lord, but others can impact your walk with the Lord. If you spend time with someone who sins and encourages you to sin, then you can become rotten. You cease to bear good fruit. That's why we must be careful who we spend our time with. We need to have a body of believers who are encouraging us in our walk with God.

   Now, that is not to say that we should not spread the Gospel as the great commission calls us to. We should tell others about Jesus. We just should not allow others to influence us to sin. It is a fine balance. We must be confident in our Lord and trust in him so much that when temptation comes, we can overtake it. That is how we will bear good fruit.

   So, who do you spend your time with? Are you walking with the Lord? How can you spread the Gospel today?

   Psalm 119:105

The Random Compliment a Day Challenge

   Let’s get real about something here: do you ever feel like you are being talked about? My family enjoys saying: “were your ears burning?” That means they were talking about me even though I wasn’t there. Another thing that happens is you are actually in the room with other people and you just get the feeling that people are talking about you.

   It is like this clip from Mulan (Here watch 1:12-1:23). Okay, so maybe it isn’t that obvious but you get my point. We are talked about every day even if we do not realize it. Sometimes people are saying negative things about us, like in this clip (and, yes, I know the clip was a little obvious because Yao was talking about Mulan). But, we should not care about that because it only matters what God thinks about us (Caring and Yet Not Caring).

   However, there is that occasion where people are saying something nice about you. I’ve realized something though. Many times people say nice things behind our backs and we may not know what they actually said.

   For example: one day I was talking with the soccer girls that I coach. One of the other coaches walked by, we will call him Dude. One of the girls said “I love Dude. He makes soccer fun and he is so funny.” I said, “I see how I rate. Now he is your favorite but you also said you like G (another coach).” She said, “well Dude cannot hear me. You are right here.” I looked at her with confusion, “why does that matter?” She chimed back, “I normally only talk about people when they are not around me.” At this point I was so confused I laughed and went over to talk with the other coaches.

   That conversation made me realize that we do not tell others what they think about them nearly enough. Now, I’m not saying that we should go tell people we don’t like them. What I am saying is that we are not really following the Bible and showing love/encouragement to each other when we do that. The Bible tells us that we need to build one another up (1 Thessalonians 5:11). We need to show love to others in the way that best fits them (See Love is Kind of a Funny Word blog)

   I walk though my day doing the best I can to reflect God’s glory. I am working on not caring about what others think about me, but it is still important for us to lift one another up. I’m not just saying we should lift one another up in bad times; we also need to do it in the good times. Admit it: you would love to get a random compliment from someone when you were not expecting it. And you will also have completed a random act of kindness for the day. I know when I get a compliment it pushes me to do even better. It is just something simple we can do to make the world a better place.

   So, will you choose to tell others how you feel about them? Will you give others random compliments? Will you encourage others like we are called to do?

   Hebrews 10:23-25, Proverbs 27:17, Proverbs 12:25

Rotten

   As a preschool teacher I tend to do a few activities that I never really thought I would do. One of those things is gardening. I do not have a green thumb. If someone gives me a plant it tends to die very quickly. Sure, I've tried to keep them alive but plants just must not like me.
   Anyhow, one day my co-teacher and I decided it was time to use some old seeds we had in our room. We planted cucumbers, tomatoes, and peppers in front of our center. Time passed and only the tomato plants survived. We went out with the kids to look at the plants. Then we let the kids choose one tomato to pick each.
   One child saw a nice, big, juicy looking tomato toward the back of the garden. I went back and helped the child try to pick it. For some reason this tomato did not want to come off. So I pulled and twisted till finally it came off; and another tomato came with it. I discovered why that tomato did not want to come off. It was attached to a rotten tomato. The kids looked disgusted, but then we got to talk about why the tomato became rotten. It was a good science lesson.
   I thought about that tomato after school that day. The tomato the child chose looked so good. But underneath the leaves it was attached to a rotten tomato. Sometimes we meet people who are like that good looking tomato. This person claims to be a Christian but he may do things that don't look like things a Christian would do. Or, in the case of this tomato, this Christian may have friends who begin to make him rotten.
   We must be careful who we allow to influence us. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says "Do not be deceived: 'Bad company ruins good morals.'" If we are not strong in our foundation of faith we will run the risk of allowing others to influence us to sin. We must know God's word. We must be strong in him so we know when to say no. We must not fall into temptation. We must focus on producing good fruit, the fruit of the spirit.
   Now, this isn't to say we are not to try to reach the lost for God. That's what we are to do according to the great commission. But, we are not to fall into temptation and sin as we try to reach the lost. That's why we must spend time in God's word and pray with him.
   So, are you allowing others to influence you in a bad way? How can you focus on spending time with God so you produce good fruit? 

   Image from here.

Helping the Lost Get Home

   “See, that’s where I belong. That’s home. That’s why I came back, ‘cause you don’t have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can.” This is a quote said by Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Through this whole movie Bilbo is battling with his own emotions. He has to decide what he will do. He has to decide if he will join the dwarfs in their quest, or if he will stay at home in his comfort zone.

   It is an interesting tale because Bilbo has not been outside the Shire, his home, ever. And that is why I find a particular scene from the movie so profound. It is the scene where Bilbo says that quote from above. Check out the scene here.

   At the beginning of this scene Bilbo has a choice. He could have easily run away. The dwarves always doubted him and he would just be proving them right. He has not been much help up until this point on the quest. In fact, he has been more of a hindrance than anything. But, Bilbo does not run away. He wants to prove to the dwarves that they were wrong about him. And, he does. He comes back in order to help the dwarves get back home.

   I have written about the concept of home before (link here). It is difficult for some people to feel like they have a home. But, for Christians, no matter where we go we can have confidence that our home is heaven. Home is where the heart is and our hearts belong to Christ. Non-Christians do not have a home.

   In the clip Bilbo said that he has a home but the dwarves do not. Bilbo is like a Christian. He is always willing to help others no matter the cost (at least toward the end of the movie). Bilbo wants to help the dwarves get home. That is how Christians should be.

   We need to be willing to help others no matter the cost. We have a home, and we know that home is in heaven. But there are lost souls out there who do not know Christ. Christians need to follow the Great Commission. We need to come alongside unbelievers and show them that they do have a home. They can have a home in Christ.

   Also, throughout the movie, Bilbo is an example for the dwarves. All the dwarves know is how to fight and pillage in order to get what they need. Bilbo is innocent and always tries to do good by people. He becomes the dwarves’ friend and is able to influence the dwarves in a good way.

   Christians too need to become friends with unbelievers. That way we can influence them in a good way. I’m not saying that we need to do the things that our unbelieving friends do. I am saying that we can talk with them, get to know them, and show them the light of Christ by leading by example.

   So, are you following the Great Commission? Are you willing to get out of your comfort zone in order to reach others? Are you being a role model for non-believers?

   Joshua 1:9, Matthew 28:16-20, Acts 1:8

Ears to Listen

   I love to question things. I like to ask why things happen, how people are doing, and what peoples' favorite things are. One question I enjoy asking my friends is "why do you like me?" This may seem conceded, but I ask it so that I know what I need to continue doing in order to serve others to the best of my ability.
   As you can imagine I have gotten many different answers to that question. However, one has stuck out to me: "you like listening to others." I was confused at first because I didn't understand where she was coming from. Then she explained: "you would rather hear another person's voice than your own. You genuinely care about others and listen to how they are doing."
   After thinking about it for a little I realized it was true. I'd rather take a step back and help others than help myself. That's why I enjoy listening to others. You learn more by listening.
Think about it: the people who talk all the time do they know how you are feeling? Do they seem very knowledgeable about the world and people? I am sure some do, but do most? I have found that many times people who talk a lot don't think about what they say before they say it.
Take for example the prodigal son: he didn't think about the consequences of asking for his inheritance early. He was young and naive. He wasn't knowledgeable about the world around him. Because of that, he lost everything and went crawling back to his father. Is he a person you'd want to be around?
   What's the lesson here?  I think it is time we slow down our busy lives. We need to slow down and listen. We need to listen to family, friends, acquaintances, and children. Why should we do this? We must do it because it shows others that we care. You never know what someone is going through unless you ask and genuinely listen. You never learn more about the world and people unless you slow down and listen. You will never know more about God unless you stop and listen to him. We can listen by sitting in silence. We can listen by reading the Bible. We can listen by hearing pastor's preach. Just listen and you will gain more than you ever thought you could.
   So, do you think before you talk? Do you genuinely listen to others? What can you do to listen to others and God today?

   James 1:19, Proverbs 12:15, Proverbs 18:13

   Image from here. 

Background

   If you were to ask my siblings and myself what we like to do in our free time you would probably only get a few answers that we all agree on. We like to play sports (mostly soccer), watching certain movies (If we can agree on the movie), and playing video games (If we can agree on the video game). One things we enjoy doing is playing the video game Just Dance. It's good exercise and helps us learn cooler dance moves.
   One day we were playing Just Dance and I was up. I was in the middle of my song when my sister said, "look at that background." I said, "what?" At the same time I almost lost my rhythm because I wanted to look at the background. It was a pretty cool background. Then it was my brother's turn. My sister once again said, "look at that background it's so cool." That's when my brother and I began to say, during every song, "Hey Kristen, look at that background it's so cool." For those of you who haven't seen Just Dance backgrounds they move and change, that's what makes them interesting.
   Anyhow, it became a joke to say that every time a song came on. I would have to say that many people enjoy backgrounds. We all like different styles of art, but we all like to have something that makes our stuff ours. That's God's creativity in us.
   We like artistic backgrounds, but what about people's backgrounds? Every person has a background and a story. We all have different likes and experiences that make us who we are. It seems like many times we tend to not want to know other people's background. We like surface level relationships. I think it's because we don't want to get hurt. We don't want to go deep with others because we are selfish. That's not what God calls us to do.
   When I look at my students, the girls I coach, friends, or family I try to see them how God sees them. It's not always easy especially when that student is hitting me or misbehaving, but I try. When I first met my friends, students, and players I only knew what they looked like. In the picture of their background I may have only seen one color. If I never tried to get to know what they like (favorite color, food, etc.) then I never would've seen more colors in their background. Then, if I try to go deeper and get to know their story, I will see more colors and maybe even pictures in their background.
   Obviously this is a bit of an allusion, but you get my point. God made each of us. We are a work of art to him. He gave us our experiences, likes, dislikes, and background. He doesn't just see us in black and white and leave us. He keeps adding to our background because he loves us. He wants our story to be part of his story, of his background.
   Each of our stories are connected if we are part of the body of Christ. Imagine all the colorful backgrounds of those in the body of Christ together. What a picture that would make!
That's why God made us unique. He knows we will all have our own journeys. He knows we won't all reach every person but we can reach some. I can get to know, love, and mentor those around me. That way their background will grow and my background will grow as well.
   So, do you only have surface relationships with others? Are you trying to get to know others to help them grow? Will you choose to grow in God so your background is strong in him?

   Romans 12:10 and 1 Thessalonians 5:11

   Image from here. 

Are You a Dory or a Piglet?

   Have you ever met a person who is really loud and enjoys talking? I have some friends who are like that. They enjoy letting people know what they are thinking. Have you ever met a person who is really quiet and doesn't talk much? I have friends like this as well. They are content to listen and don't need to talk if the other people want to talk.

   In my years I have had many different friends. What I have noticed is that typically, the friends who enjoy talking are hiding something and the friends who don't talk much have some very profound things to say.
   Let me give you an example of each of these kinds of people: in the movie Finding Nemo there is a fish named Dory. Dory enjoys talking, is typically loud, and likes to be with people. Not long after we meet Dory we find out what she's hiding: she has short term memory loss. Dory freely admits this but what she doesn't admit until later is that she lost her family. Dory wants to find her family but she cannot remember them. She hides this secret and puts aside her needs to help her friend. On the inside Dory is broken and hurting but she still helps others. Dory is a good friend.

   In Winnie-the-Pooh there is a character who doesn't talk too much named Piglet. Piglet isn't that sure of himself but when he talks with Pooh he says many profound things. For example: "The things that make me different are the things that make me ME."  "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart I'll stay there forever." Piglet does not have much confidence. I mean, he's a tiny animal. But, when he has confidence to open his mouth he is teaching us important lessons. Piglet enjoys helping his friends and he may not even need to talk in order to help. Piglet is a good friend.
   What is the point of this blog? The point is that we need both of these kinds of people. We need people who will step up and be leaders. We need people who will work hard behind the scenes. But, what we need most of all is to help these people grow and make their weaknesses strengths.
   The Piglets of the world can help the Dorys of the world by listening to them. A Piglet can get a Dory to open up because a Piglet enjoys helping others and is usually very wise because they listen a lot. The Piglet can help the Dory heal and move on from past hurts.
   The Dorys of the world can help the Piglets of the world by improving their confidence. Dory could be leading a project and think that maybe she doesn't have the answer, or wouldn't be the best person for a certain job, and she could let Piglet do the job if Piglet is better suited. The Dory could encourage the Piglet to speak up if the Piglet has a thought. Dory can also tell Piglet how great a job he is doing.
   The key for both of these kinds of people is that they care for others. If Piglet doesn't care enough to listen to Dory's problems then Dory could crack under pressure. If Dory doesn't care enough to listen to Piglet when he talks, or encourage Piglet to have confidence, then Piglet may never get out of his comfort zone and make a difference in the world. We need each other. That's why God created more than one human: we are relational beings.
   So, are you a Dory or a Piglet? What can you do to help a friend today? 

   Psalm 139:14 and 1 Corinthians 12:12-31

   Images from here and here. 

A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way

   Do you like to be encouraged or do you prefer to be criticized? This question reminds me of a meeting I had with my soccer team once when I was in college. We were a good team but we all felt something was missing. One of the captains called a meeting and we talked about how many times when we are on the field we are communicating but not encouraging one another. Then we discussed different ways we could encourage each other by writing notes, getting gifts, saying good things on the field, etc.
   I was still a younger player on the team and I was the goalie. Goalkeepers are notorious for being hard on themselves. I was especially hard on myself.
   One day we had a scrimmage against a good school. I was super nervous and I also injured my thumb before the game. But, I was the only keeper and I wasn't going to let my team down. I played and we lost 6-0. However, I played fairly well and all of the shots they scored on were good goals. That night at practice the coach asked some of the girls to come up with positive things that happened at the game. This girl, who was not known for giving encouragement, asked if she could single someone out. She said that I did a really good job and I had improved so much since last season. The rest of that practice I focused so hard and did my best (not to say that I don't usually do my best but I worked even harder than I normally do).
   When someone gives a work of encouragement to someone else that person is more likely to work harder and harder. Yes, it is important to take and give constructive criticism but encouragement is also vital.
   So, will you choose to find ways to encourage others? How can you encourage someone today?
   I suggest you check out this video down below to reinforce how important encouragement is.
   1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:23-25, Ephesians 4:29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqTGkUUA3YU 

I'm Fine

   When I was younger I fell into a trap. People would ask me, "how are you?" I would reply with, "I'm fine." It didn't matter if I had a fantastic day or if I had a horrible day. I always said, "I'm fine."

   When I was in college I met a friend who helped me change this answer. She asked me, "how are you?" I answered, "I'm fine." She could tell I wasn't fine and said, "you know what fine stands for? Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional." I had never heard that before. She told me it was from a movie. It got me thinking about how many people actually feel that way when they say, "I'm fine."

   More than likely you don't always feel this way when you say, "I'm fine." But, many times, people are not honest with others about how they are feeling. I think we do this for a few reasons. 1. When most people ask "How are you doing?" People don't really care, they just know it is polite to ask. 2. We don't want to bring anyone down, seem like we are complaining, we cannot tell people how we are really feeling, or we don't trust that person. You may be asking, "why does it matter when I ask this question, or how I answer it?" Please stay with me.

   When we ask: "how are you doing?" We should care about the person enough to expect them to give an honest answer. Philippians 2:4 says: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." We are to care about people. Over and over in the Bible we are told to love others. We can love others by caring about them enough to ask "how are you?" And actually expect an honest answer. We also have to actively listen to the answer then, if the person wants it, give advice. We must remember that if we give advice we cannot expect the person to take it. We must care about people enough to love and listen.

   When we respond to: "how are you doing?" We must remember to be real with others. Hebrews 10:23-25 says: "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." It is important for us to encourage one another. How can we do that if we are not real with others? I'm not saying that every time someone asks, "how are you doing?" We should say mean things about others and go on and on about all of our woes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is a difference between venting and complaining. Venting is healthy because you are sharing with someone who can encourage you. Complaining is when you are trying to make someone look bad by saying horrible things about them to everyone, in essence you are gossiping even if what you are saying is true.

   Are we to use discretion when we answer, "how are you doing?" Yes, we should not tell a random stranger how we are doing and we should not tell someone who is directly involved with the situation. But, we can at least answer the person honestly. If we are not doing that we'll we say, "I'm struggling." And leave it at that. If we are doing great just say, "I'm feeling great." Then maybe you can share why you are feel great to glorify God.

   So, when you ask someone "how are you doing?" Will you care about their answer? When someone asks you that question will you be real with them? Will you encourage others by helping them feel better and telling them things in your life that glorify God?

   Image from here.

Naomi and Ruth: Being a Surrogate Mother

   This year I began my career as a teacher. I decided at the beginning of the year to get a class pet. We have a Beta Fish in named Charger in my classroom. At the beginning of the year, I was able to feed him every day. But, then I went to being part-time (I was subbing at the beginning of the year so I was full-time). I had to find someone who would be willing to feed my fish the other two days.

   I asked the teacher next door if she would be willing to take care of him on the days I was not there. She was hesitant but then said, "yes." She has done a great job taking care of him. I joked with her the other day and said "How is Charger's surrogate mother." She laughed and we went back to our jobs.
   Here's the interesting thing: after that conversation I got to think about how important mothers are. I'm not just talking about actual mothers. I am talking about people who come alongside us and care for us like mothers. They are people who are so important in our lives whether we realize it or not. 

   The story of Ruth gives us an example of a surrogate mother and daughter. Naomi had a husband and two sons. They moved to Moab, because of famine. While there, her sons got married. Then her husband and sons suddenly died. Naomi decided to go back to Israel. Ruth went with her.
   At first, Naomi may not look like the best surrogate mother but she is just trying to look to Ruth's best interest. She tells Ruth to go back home so Ruth can get married again. Ruth decides to stay with Naomi. Through the rest of the book we see a transformation in Naomi. She guides Ruth every step of the way.
   It is important for us to realize that even if we don't have children we are still an example to children. They are watching and listening. They then exhibit qualities and actions they see. Are you actions and words good ones? Would you want your own children to show those qualities?
   Here's the other thing Ruth and Naomi teach us: we don't have to be an actual mother to someone to be a mother to them. Ruth basically became an adopted daughter to Naomi. I'm not saying you have to call a younger person you are close to an adopted son/daughter but you can still treat them like one. You can come alongside them, guide them, and just love them like Naomi did to Ruth.
   So, are your actions and words ones you want the next generation to exhibit? Will you choose to guide the next generation?

   Ruth, Philippians 2:4, Hebrews 10:24-25

   Image from here. 

From "Lucky" to "Unlucky"

   Pause for a second. Think about the luckiest person in the Bible. Now, think about the unluckiest person in the Bible. You have your answers? I know I do… in fact my answer is the same person: Job.

   Job was probably the richest man on earth during his life. “This man was blameless and upright; he feared God and shunned evil. He had seven sons and three daughters, and he owned seven thousand sheep, three thousand camels, five hundred yoke of oxen and five hundred donkeys, and had a large number of servants. He was the greatest man among all the people of the East” (Job.1.1-3). Job thanked God for what he had every day.

   Then, all of the sudden, everything he had was taken away. We are not just talking about his animals. We are not talking about his home. We are talking about his family. In his family only his wife was left. Then, after he refused to curse God, he lost his health. His friends came over to weep with him but later say it is Job’s fault he lost everything (Job.2-5). When Job needs encouragement, and needs someone to just listen to him, his friends blame him.

   Job went from the most blessed man on earth to what seemed to be the most cursed man on earth. His wife even told him to curse God and die (Job.2.9). In all aspects of life it seemed like he had every right to be upset with God, especially since this went on for months. Job did question God but he never cursed Him. He knew that God had a plan and could bring about blessing even though it felt horrible to go through that (Job.1.21).

   Because Job obeyed God, and did not curse Him, God blessed him even more than before. If Job was alive today and received that today his wealth would be around 5 million dollars (Patrick Morley).

   What lessons can we learn from Job?

1.       The Lord giveth and taketh away (Job.1.21). We tell God that he is good. We say we believe he has a plan. But when the going gets tough what do we do? We turn and ask God, “what are you doing?” You ever think that God knows what he’s doing? You should think that because he does. Think about all the people from the Bible. They went through some difficult times but they stuck with God. If they did not, their stories would not be remembered today. We need to remember, like Job, that sometimes God’s blessings come in the storms of life.

2.       Encourage the hurting (Job.2-5). Do not, I repeat, DO NOT be like Job’s friends. If Job’s friends actually knew him they would know that Job did nothing wrong. Most of the time, when someone is truly hurting, he does not need to hear “it must have been something wrong you did.” He does not need to hear “everything happens for a reason.” What he needs to hear is “I am here for you,” “do not give up on yourself,” and most importantly “God is still with you.” Job just needed someone to cry with. He needed someone to listen. We must take a lesson from Job’s friends. If someone is hurting just be with them, pray from them, hug them, and do what you can for them. Never assume you know what that person is going through.

3.       Trust in God (Job.42.1-2). When all else fails, and you cannot go on, lean on God. Remember that God has great plans for you. You just need to be willing to walk through the valleys and climb some big mountains.

   So, will you choose to trust that God knows what he is doing? Will you encourage others during their times of need?

   Image from here.

The Legend of Selfishness

   Years ago I was introduced to a movie called The School of Rock. I became interested in this movie because I wanted to be a teacher. The movie is about a man named Dewey who owes rent to his roommate. His roommate's girlfriend keeps telling his roommate that he needs to tell Dewey to pay rent or kick him out. 

   Dewey is in a band but he gets kicked out. One day the apartment is called by a principal asking for Ned, Dewey's roommate, to come and substitute at their school. Dewey pretends to be Ned. While at the school, Dewey does not teach the students anything. He is actually more excited about the end of the school day than the kids are!

   The next day Dewey hears the students playing instruments in music class. He gets the idea to make the class into a band. Then the students ask Dewey what they are going to sing. Dewey then sings the legend of the rent to the students (link to song here).

   What I find interesting is the whole song is about Dewey's resentment toward just about every one. He is upset at Ned and his girlfriend because they are forcing him to pay rent. He is upset at his band because they kicked him out. Dewey is being very selfish at this point because he is using the kids just to get money and to pursue his dreams. What he does not realize is that he is basically all alone in the world. Selfish people do not have friends because they use their friends.

   Sometimes we have a tendency to think only about what we need and want. We have dreams and we are willing to do anything to reach those dreams. I'm not saying that having dreams is a bad thing. But when we hurt others in order to reach our dreams, when we are selfish, that is when I have a problem with following dreams. 

   As Christians, we are called to love others. That means that we are not selfish. I understand that humans have basic needs like needing food, water, shelter, etc. But, when we plow through other people just to get those things then we are not loving others. 

   Instead, we need to trust in God to provide for our needs. And, we need to trust God with our wants as well. He has a plan for our lives. We just need to trust him.

   In the end Dewey realized that he was wrong to have used the kids. And, he realized that he was being selfish. He decided to let the kids have a say in the band. He let the kids write a song and they went to the battle of the bands. Dewey had friends and became selfless. To find out the end, you will have to check the movie out.

   So, are you being selfish? What can you do to show your love to others?

   Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:14-16, John 13:34

The Woman Behind the Mask

   Halloween: a time of costumes, scary decorations, and sugary coated sweets. Why do people like Halloween so much? Children would probably say because of free candy. They may even say because they get to dress up as their favorite character.
   When I was little I liked Halloween because of the candy. But, as I grew up, I still liked the candy 😊. However, it became more about the costume for me. Seems odd that a 5th grader would have liked dressing up but I have a reason.
   Some of you may know that I like acting. I like bringing made up characters to life. I like to make situations and stories real for the audience. I also liked being something/someone that was not me.
   See, we know ourselves better than anyone else in this world. We know our good qualities, talents, and likes; but we also know our bad qualities, problems, and downfalls. I know that I'm not always the most patient person, I could be a little more compassionate at times, and that I don't know everything I want to know (because I'm still growing).
   When I was acting I wasn't myself. Sure my character may have had downfalls, but that wasn't my problem. I just loved the fact that I could be as crazy as I wanted to and it didn't matter because everyone in the audience would know I was acting. Those judgements that people would have casted on that character didn't matter because it wasn't me.
   During Halloween I can pick any character I want to be, act like that character, and not have anyone think I'm nuts. But, when the candy's all gone, the costumes are put away, and the decorations are taken down my mask is taken off as well. When that happened I had a tendency to go back to caring what others thought about me because I was myself.
   As I grew older, I realized that it doesn't matter what others think about me. It just matters what Jesus thinks of me. He is the one who is able to bring me peace. He is the one who loves me already. He loves me no matter what I do or what I say. Does he get upset when I don't follow him? Yes, but he still cares about me and is willing to forgive me when I fail.
   With God, we don't need masks. We don't need to be anyone but ourselves. Isn't that how we should act with others? We should want to be with people who accept us no matter what. We should want to be with people who love and forgive us when we fail.
   I encourage you to take off any masks you may be wearing right now. I know it's fun to pretend to be someone you are not. But, I guarantee you that people respond to those who are real with them more than fake people. Will you get hurt if you take off your mask? Probably, but you know that you have opened yourself up to make an impact on others. That is what we are called to do: spread the gospel and reflect God's glory.

   Romans 12:2, Psalm 139:14-16, Romans 8:35-39

Times of Questioning

   The Devil lies. That's what I keep telling myself. I keep on having thoughts go through my head that say: "I'm not doing a good job," "I don't have a purpose for being where I am at in life," "I should give up and go back to the things or places I know."
   It is easy for me to ignore these lies when I am in times, or areas/places, where I am confident. When I was in school I knew my routine. I knew to get up, get ready for school, go to school, go to soccer, do my homework, and go to bed.
   Granted, in that time, unexpected episodes happened. I had friends come up to me to discuss problems, family issues, etc. But, I generally knew what to do in order to succeed in everything still. Therefore, anytime I heard the Devil say something to me that I knew wasn't true, I was able to dismiss it easily.
   Now I am in a time and area where I don't really know what I'm doing. I mean, I was trained for this but every school is different. Every soccer program is different. I'm still trying to find my footing in both of these areas in my life. I'm out of my comfort zone entirely, which is a scary place to be. On top of it is easier to listen to the Devil's lies. I keep hearing: "YOU are not doing a good job," YOU don't have a purpose for being here," YOU should give up."
   Here's the thing: these lies are poison. What happens when you get poisoned? You need someone to take care of the poison. You cannot really take care of yourself. When we are in times of Questioning, or in times of new places, we need a few things in order to succeed and stay sain.
   First you need a group of people to come around you and support you. Those people may be mentors, friends, or prayer warriors. But, if you don't have these people when the crazy kicks in you will have no one to go to when you are at times when you feel you should give up. I have a group of people who I have known for years supporting me, I have a new group of people at school and soccer surrounding me and teaching me, and I have all of these people praying for me. Knowing that these people are with me is helping me to keep moving forward.
   Second in your time of Questioning you need to have people who you can ask your questions to. Without these people you will probably go nuts thinking about all the little details you don't know. You need at least one specific person, in your new area, who you can go to to ask questions or just talk.
   Finally, you need to trust God. When I first got the call about soccer I wanted to do it, but I wasn't sure it was plausible with my career. However, it became clear that I was to take that role on. Then after I took that role I received a part time job teaching job that worked perfectly with my soccer schedule. God knew this would happen and made it clear that this is where I should be in my life.
   Am I scared sometimes? Oh yeah. Do I have mini freak out sessions? Every once in a while. But the most important question I have had to answer through this experience is: is this where God wants me to be? I believe the answer is yes. That is why I'm going to ignore the Devil and his lies. That is why I'm going to keep moving forward. That is why I am going to trust God.
   So, do you have a hard time ignoring the Devil's lies? Do you have a group of people surrounding you to help you in times of Questioning? Do you trust God that he has put you where you are for a purpose? 

   Proverbs 3:5-6, 2 Corinthians 11:3, Galatians 6:2

A Birthday Reflection

   There are many times I reflect on what has happened in my life. Some specific times are when the New Year rolls around and when my birthday comes. Since today is my birthday I decided to look back on my life and see how much has changed.

   Through the past year I have had many ups and downs. However, this year, I decided to lean on God rather than worry. Because I did that, I learned different lessons about different times in life.

   Last year, during the summer I decided to go on a friendship fast. This helped me learn how to have God as my best friend. I also learned how to trust in him and have peace in him. If you are at a point in your life where you are moving on to a different chapter in life and you may lose some friends. My suggestion to you would be to learn how to have God as your bff. This means spending time with him daily and talking with him anytime you want to because he is there for you.

   In fall I made the decision to play soccer one more time. During that time I also had student teaching toward the end of my soccer season. While in soccer, I had some times that I was free. In that free time I decided to meet with all of my teammates to get to know them more. That made a huge difference on and off the field. If you are at a time in your life where you are at a certain work place, college, or you are just used to doing something more than someone else is you can come alongside that person or people and mentor them. I wanted the new players on the team to have a good time and to grow. That is what we all can do to help others.

   In winter I graduated and had student teaching. This was a scary time for me because I was leaving a place that I had been at for so long. If you are about to leave a place you have been at for a while my advice to you is to enjoy the time you have there for as long as you can. Once that time is gone, you cannot get it back.

   In Spring I began to substitute at various schools. This was also a scary time for me because I did not know the schools, children, discipline codes, or teachers. I am thankful for this job but it is not an easy one. This lesson comes in the form of past lessons I have learned. 1. Look for the positive in everything. And 2. Get out of your comfort zone. If you are entering a new place or job look for the positive in everything because if you do not you may be wondering why you chose this job. Also, you need to learn that there are times you need to get out of your comfort zone and trust in God.

   So, as you can see it is not easy to always trust in God but that is what you need to do when you reach these points in life. Are you willing to trust God in everything? Will you look for the positive no matter what?

   Proverbs 3:5-6, Joshua 1:9, Proverbs 27:17

You Could be a Hero

   “No one sits with him, he doesn’t fit in, But we feel like we do when we make fun of him, Cause you want to belong, do you go along? Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong, It’s not like you hate him or want him to die, But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide.” These are lyrics to Superchick’s song Hero (Link).

   Since 1999 the suicide rate has increased in the United States. And we wonder why this is? Well, if one thinks about it, it isn’t that difficult to see why. We live in a very individualistic culture. It has become every man for himself. But, is that how it should be?

   Let’s go to the authority on everything: the Word of God. Philippians 2:4 says “let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” John 13:34-35 says “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” There are many more verses I could point out in order to prove that God wants us to help each other, but I will not go into that right now.

   Instead I am going to leave off with a quick story. Once when I was very young, like in high school, I went to a camp with my family. There was a new family there with a boy my age. He kept asking to hang out with me. But I did not want to be his girlfriend, which was kind of what he was insinuating. I asked my brother to stay with me at all times. My brother and this guy actually ended up being pretty good friends. At the end of the week this guy asked to get a picture with me using his phone. I had my brother get in the picture with me. I could have handled the situation much better because I avoided this guy rather than hearing him out. Later I found out from a friend that he tried to commit suicide around Christmas.

   I could have done something. I could have followed Philippians 2:4 and John 13:34-35. I could have looked out for this guy and been a friend to him, but I didn’t and I wasn’t. I believe that that situation happened for a reason. I could have done things differently, but then I would not have learned a valuable lesson. I would not have learned that every day choices I make impact others whether I know it or not. I would not have learned that I can be a “hero” to others.

   So, do you love others no matter who they are? Are you following God’s word? Are you thinking about the choices you make every day? Are you a hero?

   1 John 4:19-21, Philippians 2:4, John 13:34

   Suicide Facts: http://www.economist.com/blogs/graphicdetail/2016/04/daily-chart-20

Giving Up Control of the Remote

   One item that is always fought over in the Scheuing household is the remote. Many times we will get home from being out; and I will turn on the dining room tv to something my brother does not want to watch. Immediately my brother wills start yelling no. Eventually I will win; but when it comes to the living room that is another story.

   I may be watching something and then my dad will come home. He will put his work stuff away and then come into the living room. Then he will take the remote. I used to put up a fight; but I’ve realized that it is just better if I give up control of the remote to my father.

   That’s one thing humans don’t like doing: giving up control. I especially don’t like doing that when it comes to relationships. I am a fixer and a people pleaser. I’ve gotten a little better at not pleasing people; but when I hear a friend is in trouble I really want to fix whatever their problem is.

   Normally I am able to help at least a little. That is, until one day something happened to my friend. I asked her what I could do to help and she said “nothing.” I said, “nothing?” She nodded. It broke my heart to see her in such pain. I usually am able to write something, say something funny, or do something that caters to her love language to help cheer her up; but nothing worked. Have you ever felt so insignificant because you know there is nothing you can do to help someone you love? Yeah that was me.

   So, I watched her every day go through a silent battle, hiding her feelings so no one would know. And I wanted to comfort her. I wanted to change what happened but I couldn’t and that’s when I realized I had to give up control of the remote. I was the one who tried to change the channel to make my friend feel better; but no tv channel could do that. I had to give the remote to God because he was the only one who could help my friend through her problem.

   I prayed to God that he would help my friend with her problem. I prayed that he would help me learn that I cannot fix everything. The only thing I can do is trust in him and his control. And, even though it was hard, I watched my friend overcome her problem. She came out stronger than I ever would have expected because she leaned on God and not others. I guess I wasn’t the only one who gave up control of the remote.

   I have found that, even when it is hard, when I give up control to God amazing things happen that boggle my mind. Things that would not have happened if I would have gotten my tool belt out. So that’s why I try to give up control of the remote to God. I know I fail sometimes; but I also know that God’s will will come about no matter what. Besides, God’s tv channels are much better than any that I would choose.

   So are you unwilling to give up control to God? What can you do to give control to God?

   Proverbs 19:21, Romans 8:28

A Letter to My Current and Future Friends

   I’m going to start this out by saying that I’m human. I’m going to mess up and let you down. I will try not to, but I will. I just hope that you will forgive me when I do. As I will try to forgive you when you mess up and let me down.

   I want you to know that I will care about you and do all I can for you. But, I need to think of myself as well. I cannot be a starving baker where I get to the point that I burn out. I need to take care of myself before I can take care of others.

   I also need you to understand that I will not do anything that will jeopardize my relationship with God for you. God comes first in my life. If you cannot handle that, or understand that, ask me about my relationship with him; and I promise to answer whatever questions you may have to the best of my ability. But, just because you ask questions that may be difficult for me to answer does not mean that you will dissuade me from my relationship with God. I love Christ because he first loved me, even when I was in darkness. I may not understand everything about him; but I will keep seeking him. And, seeking the answers to the questions I have about him. I also want you to know that I am glad I don’t know everything about him. Because, if I did he would not be God; and I would not want to worship him.

   I also want you to know that I have flaws. I’m annoying at times, I have a temper from time to time, I have a roller coaster of emotions, I can be really crazy at times, I also can be really impatient, I’m very critical of myself, I sometimes have a low self-esteem, I don’t smile much, and I seem like a pessimist on the outside.

   But, I’m also kind, loyal, intelligent, wise, an introvert, honest, and good at giving advice. I try to get to know my friends for who they are; and love them in the way they need to be loved. I try to understand who people are, their beliefs, and where they come from. Everything I do, I do for a reason. I try to give one hundred percent in all I say and do. And, though people think I’m a pessimist I try to be optimistic. This is not to toot my own horn, or to highlight my strengths. I’m just pointing out what others have told me my strengths are. And, trying to say there are reasons why I am the way I am today. If you stick around long enough you may find out what those reasons are.

   If you cannot accept me for who I am then you may as well leave right now. But, I will tell you that I cannot promise that I will not still think of you from time to time. I also cannot promise that I will not pray for you when I think of you.

   I want to tell you that if you do leave it may break my heart for a little; but, eventually, I will forgive you. I will not hold anything against you because it takes two people to have a relationship. And, it takes two people, or more, to have an argument.

   But, I make this promise to you: if you do leave and you ever find yourself in trouble, or in need, feel free to contact me. I cannot promise that I will be able to do what you ask of me, or that I will be there right away. But, I do promise that I will do what I can for you, even if it is only to pray for you.

   Friendships are not easy at times; but these are my promises to you. I pray that I will keep these promises. But, I apologize in advanced if I fail you. Above all I will respect you, and I hope that you will do the same for me.

   I know that God opens and closes doors. And, he just so happened to open up a door so that I would meet you. I’m so excited to get to know you; and go on the journey of life with you. I hope that through this experience both you and I grow.

   Your friend,

      Kaitlyn Scheuing

   Have you had any difficult friendships? I know I have, that’s why I wrote this letter. Is there anything you could do to mend those friendships? Do you have anything you need to apologize for when it comes to relationships? Are you willing to be selfless enough to help others no matter the cost?

   Matthew 22:36-40, John 15:13, Proverbs 27:17, 1 Peter 4:8-10