If I were to ask you the question: what is one thing, and only one thing, that everyone in the world needs, what would you say? You may think logically and say food, water, or air. You may think extravaganza and say a mansion with servants. But the answer is actually very simple: it's love.
Oh my goodness, she is really saying all we need is love? Yeah, the song is right. Think about it: if someone loves you, they will give you what you need. See how I said what we need, not everything we want. For example, if you are a parent, you will work to give your child food, shelter, clothing, and water. You may even work to give them some of their wants. Because you love them, you provide for their needs.
If all we need is love, and that's what we as Christians are called to give others, then why aren't people getting what they need? Are we actually spreading the love of Christ or have we lost that? What is our focus? If our focus is on conversion, then we drop off the face of the planet for that person is that love?
Love means we show the love of Christ. We lead others to the love of Christ as Savior and Lord. Then we stand beside that person as they grow in Christ. We continue to show them love as we do that. Then those people show that same love to others.
So, are you giving others what they need? How can you show love to everyone today?
One day we were out and about shopping as a family. It
was around the time that we were becoming peckish, so we went to Chick-fil-A to
get sustenance. We ordered our food, and my siblings went to find us a place to
sit. Unfortunately, there was no place to be found.
After waiting a bit, my mother found a place to sit so
she sat quick. Much to my dismay, she had sat on the booth side. After
reminding her that father and her usually sit on the chair side she went to get
up. As she did, her milkshake fell to the floor with a crash!
We all sat down a bit more subdued than we were before.
The food came and our peckishness (hangriness) went away. But we did not
converse with one another due to how tense the situation was.
As the meal was ending, my sister pulled out her phone
and said, "mother, would you like another milkshake?" My brother
looked at my sister, pulled out his wallet, and said "I was going to get
her one." Mom half smiled but said, as any mother who was a tad perturbed
would say, "I don't need one, it is fine." My sister rolled her eyes,
"that's not the point. You may not need one, but do you want one?" My
brother did not wait for an answer. He got up and ordered her a peppermint
milkshake.
When it arrived, mother smiled. She didn't say it, but we
could all tell that that one act of giving her a milkshake made her feel loved.
It's funny to me when I ask people, "how have you
felt loved lately?" People say things like, "someone brought me a
snack when I was hungry," "someone wrote me a note," or
"someone listened to me." People say little things make them feel
loved. Yet, when we do those things for someone, we don't think they are a big
deal. But to the person receiving that thing, it is.
Many times, we think we need to do big things to show
others how much we love them. That's not the case. Little things can make a big
difference. John 15:12 says, "This is my commandment, that you love one
another as I have loved you." God is a good father who loves us. He gives
us what we need. We are commanded to love as he loves. That means doing little
things to show others love each day.
So, are you showing love to others each day? If so, how?
If not, how can you get better at showing others love?
This story is told with permission. Also, this is not a political post though it may seem like it at first.
Once a friend told me a story of a time when they were having a party around the time of an election. For the party they would all have to wear crazy hats that everyone brought; but you didn't get to pick the hat you wore. It was chosen randomly, and you had to wear it all day. Then they went around the city to different places to eat and party. The friend was given a "make America great again" hat randomly. He was told he didn't actually have to wear it, but he thought he wanted to participate and that it would be fun.
They went out to different restaurants. People would come up to him and either welcome him and say good things about him and Trump or they would come up to him and yell at him and accuse him. At first when people randomly came up to my friend, he laughed and thought it was funny. But eventually, the angry people began to outweigh the welcoming people. And what hit my friend the most is that people wouldn't even come up to have a civilized conversation with him. They would just assume he was a Trump supporter and yell at him.
About halfway through the day, he began to feel disheartened. His friends could see it was impacting him. So, when people would come up to him, his friends would get in between him and them. Then they would explain that it was part of a party and for fun. Sometimes people would listen; other times they would continue to be upset.
These people didn't know anything about my friend. They didn't know who he was, what he believed, or where he came from. All they knew was he wore a Trump hat, so they assumed he believed in Trump and supported him.
Now, I'm sure this could have happened had someone worn a different political slogan hat. But the point that hurt my friend the most was that there was not even an effort for a conversation with him. No one came up to ask him what he believed, they just assumed. And all the negativities got to my friend. If he wasn't a believer and didn't have a joyful deposition, he told me he may have gone home and thought about committing suicide.
What has happened to us as a culture? When did what someone wears become more important than the fact that this person is a human being? Why do we choose to berate people because of who they are, what they look like, and what they believe? Whatever happened to having a conversation with someone to get to know them instead of judging them based on surface level things? Do you do these things or are you showing God's love to all no matter who they are, what they wear, and what they believe?
Now we are finally to the part where we talk about the purity that most people think of when they hear that word: purity in couple relationships. When you finally meet someone, you feel you can spend the rest of your life with, it will feel right. God created humans with two genders: male and female. He created their parts to fit together. He created sex.
Before I go any farther discussing sexual purity, I want to put in a PSA here. I went to a public high school then a Christian college. In high school I learned about sex and how it works. When I got to college, some of the girls in my dorm went to Christian schools their whole life. Some of them did not know how sex works. They didn’t even know about their own bodies! When I asked them what they were taught about sex they said, “not much.” Most of them replied with the idea that they were told sex is icky and we shouldn’t talk about it.
Mouth drop on the floor here. If sex isn’t good, why did God create it to be bonding? Why did he create it and make it feel good to do? Why did he make it as the way to reproduce? Sex is good, in the context of marriage. And yet, churches don’t teach that. Christian schools don’t teach that. Parents don’t teach their children that. In all my years serving as a soccer coach at a Christian college only one player who I have asked what she was taught about sex had a good answer. Her parents taught her that sex is beautiful in the context of marriage. That it should be saved for when a man and a woman love one another and are married. That’s what we should be teaching others. Thus ends my soapbox.
Relationships nowadays are very different than relationships back in Bible times. In Bible times, there was no dating. Today we have dating, dtr, engagement, then finally marriage. And, there’s no set time as to how long each of those things can take. Thus, why staying pure in relationships can be so hard. You are spending time getting to know someone to see if you want to spend the rest of your life with them. The more time you spend, the closer you get. The closer you get, the CLOSER you want to be (if you catch my drift).
This is when temptation comes into play. God has made it clear in his word that we are not to be sexually immoral. 1 Corinthians 7:2 says: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” He doesn’t say each man should have a friend with benefits, a concubine, or a prostitute. Each man should have ONE wife. God has also made it clear the dangers of having sex outside of marriage. Each time you have sex with someone, you are bonding with them. You are connected. You are one. All this can be seen in chemical reactions in your brain. There is also the danger of STDs when you sleep with more than one person.
Knowing all of this, how do we stay pure even when it is hard? Psalm 119:9 holds the answer. “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” We have discussed how purity begins in the heart. If you have a heart for God, you will read his word to get to know him. As you get to know him, you will not only have more of a heart for him, but you will also know his word more. His word can help you guard your heart. You can pray when you feel tempted or weak. I know it sounds like a simple answer, but it doesn’t mean it is easy. God doesn’t always ask us to do what is easy. He asks us to do what is right.
So, are you pursuing purity in your relationships? How can you grow closer to God?
There is a movie where lions rule the pride lands. If you think I am talking about The Lion King, you are wrong. I am talking about The Lion King 2. In this movie Simba is king and he has a daughter. His daughter becomes friends with a lion named Kovu who was chosen by Scar (the villain in the last movie) to be king after Scar. That was taken from him when Simba took the kingdom back.
I won’t get into all the details as you can watch it for yourself, but there is a song that happens in the movie called “One of Us.” In the song, Simba and the other animals of the pride lands exile Kovu. They do not give him a chance to tell his side of the story. He is kicked out and beaten by the other animals. Not a very loving moment, but the song does have a good beat.
All this got me thinking: do I ever act like Simba? Then I asked, does the church ever act like Simba? It is true that we are all sinners and have turned away from God. Thus, it should also be true that we understand grace; and that we should all be given a second chance. And yet, there are times when I think we judge others based off their sin.
For example, let’s say someone you knew lied. Would you think they were as bad or in need of as much forgiveness as someone who murdered someone else? Yes, I went with the extreme example. What about someone who wears black or rainbow colors? Would you let them in the church? What about the person who smokes and drinks? What about those who do not smell as good and cannot offer any monetary gifts?
You get my drift. Sometimes I think we as Christians tend to judge others based off their appearance, what they do, or what they’ve done. Yet, that’s not what we are called to do. James 4:11-12 says, “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” You don’t know that person’s life. You don’t know what they are thinking. You don’t know their heart. Only that person and God knows that.
What gives you a right to declare judgment on that person? What gives you a right to hurt that person? You don’t get that right. You get the privilege of praying for that person. Of knowing that person. Of loving that person as God loves them and us. You never know what someone may do for the kingdom. You never know the difference that one choice can make in someone’s life.
So, do you judge others when you should love them? How can you show love to someone today?
What do you do when the everyday routine becomes mundane?
What do you do when things in your routine are going wrong or become an
inconvenience? One day I was at work, as a teacher with my preschool students,
and just those things were happening.
It was midway through November. This was the time of year
where Halloween, aka candy high hype, has somewhat worn off. The time of year
when kids were talking about Santa and what he was going to get them for
Christmas. When they would forget about Thanksgiving and just keep repeating
what they wanted for Christmas, which was probably annoying me as well because
I tire of people skipping Thanksgiving, but it is hard to commercialize that.
The day began pretty normal. Kids came in and began
playing. I was working on projects with the kids. The trouble began during
circle time. Kids were all up in one another’s grills (touching each other) so
I had to remind them to stay in their bubble. Then they forgot to repeat what I
was telling them to repeat (5 times I tried and failed to get them to repeat
after me). When story time came again, they were in one another’s grills. Center
time came and kids were just not following the rules at centers. I would remind
them nicely and they would not listen. Then a child I had just sent to the
bathroom had an accident five minutes after I sent her to the bathroom. This
event made us get outside late. At lunch the kids were having bad manners, and
a child spilled her whole cup of milk. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! At that point
though, it was kind of like, fine pile on the crap so I just let it roll off my
back.
Then an aide for one of my students looked at me and
said, “how are you feeling?” I didn’t answer really because I didn’t know how
to answer. Honestly, I was not feeling the greatest. I was quite annoyed and
impatient and tired and slightly overwhelmed. But I also did not want to say
all that in front of the kids and have to get into all that with her. She just
said, “it seems like you are not yourself today.”
Woah lady, who are you to tell me who I am and who I am
not?! Was my initial thought. I could feel the anger boiling up. She was
somewhat right. I was a bit more on edge because of all the little things
piling up. I felt like a mouse we read about in a book that day. The mouse just
kept finding food and piling it up on top of the next piece of food. Well, you
can imagine how that went when the cat caught up with him.
In a way, the aide was kind of like the cat. She was
calling out my bad attitude. I didn’t like it, and everything came crashing
down.
While I disagreed with how she asked and the fact that
she said I didn’t seem like myself because I was doing the normal things I do
every day, I also knew I wasn’t letting my light shine. Matthew 5:16 says, “In
the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your
good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” This not-so-great
day was taking its toll. It was diminishing my light. In a certain way, I felt
justified. How many people have to deal with all those things I was dealing
with daily? Why did all the bad things have to happen at once? I had a right to
be a bit cranky, didn’t I?
Not according to Matthew 5:16. I wasn’t doing a great job
at being set apart. I wasn’t very loving and patient. Now, to a certain extent,
some of the things the students did, did merit consequences. But that doesn’t
mean I had to be cranky as I dished those consequences out. I could have been
more patient and understanding. That doesn’t mean that being those things is
easy. It’s just what we, as Christians, are called to do.
In case you were wondering, to get back on track, I took
my break to listen to a Christian podcast, had some prayer time asking for
forgiveness, and wrote this blog. All those things helped change my attitude.
Amazing what a bit of God time can do, isn’t it?
So, when days like this happen, what is your reaction?
How can you let your light shine daily no matter your circumstances?
Sometimes you are just busy being yourself and being authentic, then something great happens. True, what I am discussing now didn’t necessarily happen by itself, as Nate and I began our relationship on a dating website and chose one another, but the aftermath of this story did. Now, if you are like me, you know that you are not perfect. In fact, there are times when even I would find myself annoying or different. That is why I question how someone would want to be with me with all my downfalls but that’s beside the point.
Nate and I are both good communicators and good at nonverbal communication as well. One day, we were watching Guardians of the Galaxy 3 and he had gotten sour patch kids to share. I didn’t eat too many of them but as the movie went on there ended up being only one left. In my brain I thought, “it would be nice if he would give me the last one” but I wasn’t expecting it. Then, Nate pointed the bag toward me. I smiled and took the last sour patch kid. This began a tradition of offering the last item to one another.
Another time we were sitting on the couch talking and Nate began to get hot. He asked if we could turn the fan on. I did, and as time went on, I became cold. Nate seemed comfortable so I cuddled up to him and left the fan on.
You can see where I am going here. When you love someone, you make sacrifices. Sacrifice means you give up something. You give up time, money, comfort, food, things, etc. so that you can show someone else you care.
Hebrews 13:16 reminds us of this when it says, “Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” We are to do good to others. What does “good” mean? Well, you could think of the golden rule. You know, do unto others as you would want them to do to you. Or, you could just say whatever you would feel most loved in, do that.
As you can see, sacrifice doesn’t have to be big. Jesus died for us, and we are to follow his example. That may not mean physically dying. It may mean dying to ourselves. To our needs and wants. That’s sacrifice. Sacrifice in the little things daily and you will be following Jesus’ example and command. So, how will you sacrifice today?
You are not a judge. Even if you are a real judge in the justice system you are not The Judge. Can anyone tell me why people find it so
interesting to randomly look at people and judge them? I mean, what does it do
for you? In the long run, you will ruin your reputation with others, make your
friends wonder if you do the same to them, and waste your own time. How does
this help you? How does this help others?
I am sick and tired of going to places and hearing people
gossip about others. I understand that some people people-watch for fun. It’s
one thing to look at someone and wonder what they are up to; it’s another thing
to look at someone and judge them based off of their appearance.
I get that we all have first impressions, that’s not what
I am talking about here. I am talking about when I walk into a store and I hear
a group of people saying things about me. They aren’t anything nice either, most
of the time it is exploiting my body or my clothing. Then after I hear them do
that I begin to think different things. I think about what I can do to change
the things wrong with me (and yes, I know I’m not perfect). I think about what
I can say to tell those kids off. Mostly, I think about how I just want to get
out of there as soon as possible (When Insecurities Come Up Blog).
Then, after I leave I start to hear voices in my head.
They say things like, “why can’t you work out more?” “Why can’t you keep your
hair under control?” “Why don’t you try to wear nicer clothes?” (The TickingTime Bomb Blog). That’s when I go back and forth with those voices. I say, “why
does it matter what I wear?” “Why do I care what those kids think?” “This is
just the Devil trying to get me to look down on myself. God loves me just the
way I am.” You know, the typical I know the right answers but it’s hard thing
(When You Know the Answers Blog).
When I was younger this process to get to the point where
I ended this roller coaster thinking took a long time, days even. Now, I am
better at shutting this down. That’s not to say I shut it down by my own power,
in fact I don’t do it on my own. God has given me God-Confidence. He loves me
for who I am. He knows my thoughts, actions, insecurities, talents, etc. and
loves me. I have known that for a long time but thinking about certain things
and verses have helped me.
1 John 3:1 says: “See what great love the Father has
lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we
are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” I am a
child of God. He made me in his image, as he made you in his image. He cared
enough about you and me to adopt us into his family. He knows we are quirky and
sometimes annoying but he loves us. He loves you in spite of all your
imperfections. He’s our great father who will help us through tough times we
just have to choose to see that he is there helping us.
Philippians 4:6 says: “Do not be anxious about anything,
but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your
requests to God.” I used to have pretty bad anxiety so this verse is very near
and dear to my heart. I would overthink so much that I couldn’t sleep and
couldn’t eat. I didn’t want to mess up. I didn’t want to be thought of as
strange or weird. I didn’t want to let anyone down. I kept thinking I wasn’t
good enough. Then I realized that I am always good enough for God. But, there’s
more to it than that. I have a relationship with him. I can talk with him about
my worries and needs. He will be with me no matter what.
Galatians 2:20 says: “I have been crucified with Christ
and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body,
I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
Finally, I remember that God gave himself for me. If the worst thing in the
world happens to me, God is there. He showed his love for me by dying in order
to have a relationship with me. It doesn’t matter if someone says I stink
because the creator of everything loves me.
Now, one last thing before my rant is over: we need to
watch what we say about others. If you wouldn’t say it to a person’s face you
shouldn’t say it at all. Words can hurt. In the end being mean and judging
someone will not get you very far (unless you are a judge on a show, but most
of us won’t get there). Instead of using our words to tear others down, why
can’t we build others up? We are called to show God’s love to others. I think
we need to give others compliments instead of criticism. Criticism does have a
place if it is constructive (Galatians 6:1-2). But, many times we focus too
much on the negative and not enough on the positive (A Story About Stones Wallsand Bridges Blog).
So, do you have a tendency to judge others too much? When
you are judged will you remember God loves you and will walk through that hard
time with you? What can you do to encourage someone today?
This concludes my soccer lessons series. I'm sure that
there are many more lessons that I've learned and that I teach; but, one thing
is for certain: I'm not done learning or teaching. And, as long as you draw
breath, neither are you.
You may not feel like you are called to teach or coach.
That's okay, you don't have to teach or coach in the way I do. However, you are
still teaching others in your day to day life. If you are a parent this is what
God's word says to you: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord"
(Eph.6.4). You are called to discipline your child. Discipline isn't just
"you did something bad, here is your consequence." Discipline should
be more like discipleship. It should be "you made this choice. Here is
what God says about that choice. I care about you and I want you to grow in
God. Because of that, this is what I will do because you need to learn a
lesson." That's probably not entirely what you want to say to a child but
it should be along the lines of what we are thinking as we disciple children.
That's what's going to help them grow in the long run.
If you don't have children, that doesn't mean you get out
of being a teacher. Titus 2:7 says: "Show yourself in all respects to be a
model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, (and) dignity."
You are a role model. You may be saying that you are not near children at all.
That may be true in your job and such. However, when you go for groceries, to
go shopping, or out in general do you see others? My guess is yes you do.
People are watching how you act. If you are a Christian are you projecting
Christ? Are you showing others what Christ looks like? People are watching and
you are a role model. I encourage you to think about what you are teaching
others with your actions.
So, back to the soccer series. You may not be a soccer
player, athletic, or an athlete. But, I hope through this series that you
realize how important sports are. I hope you remember that you are a teacher. I
hope you grow in God and teach others about him.
When you are a coach of high school players you could
have players that have been playing soccer for 12 years or players who haven't
played at all. That can happen at any level, but I have found that it is more common
in school ball. Because of this, the coach needs to cater to the needs of
players with many different skill levels. I tried to do drills that are
beneficial to any skill level. However, I have had players who think that
certain drills are beneath them.
These are the players who have been playing a while. They
think they are ready for something harder. Most of the time I watch those
players do the drill I assigned and I still see that they need to work on it,
but they may not see it. Anyhow, to these players I tell them that nothing is
beneath them. Professional soccer players still do Brazilians to get better at
controlling the ball. They still do simple passing under pressure so they are
used to it in games. If you are not willing to do the basics then you will lose
your ability to do the basics. If you think you are better than you really are
you will end up hurting your ability to play the game well.
In life, if you think you are better than you really are
you could lose friends, lose your job, and you are also disobeying God. Mark
9:35 says: "And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them,
“If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all.” If you
think you are the best that means you are prideful. Pride is a sin. Now, I'm
not saying you should think you are the scum of the earth. But, there is a
balance to this. In Mark, Jesus tells us that we are not to think of ourselves
first. We are not to think that we are first and the best. We are to be a
servant to others. If anyone on the earth ever had a reason to think he was the
best it was Jesus. But, Jesus didn't think that way. He gave up his life, he
became a sacrifice, so that we could live. What right do we have to think that
anything is beneath us?
So, do you have a problem with thinking that something is
beneath you? Are you willing to serve others like Jesus did? What can you do to
serve someone today?
As stated before, soccer is a team sport. Even though
there are different positions on the field, everyone plays defense and everyone
plays offense. If the team doesn't transition between those two positions well
then the team will not be successful. I've been a part of many teams. Some were
good at getting up the field and back the field others were not.
Once, I was playing in a championship game. There was
less than a minute left in the second overtime. I had the ball and I needed to
do a goal kick to send it out. I set the ball up as the clock was ticking down.
My team had played 109 minutes of soccer and they were tired. All we had left
was less than a minute and we would go to penalty kicks. All my team had to do
was push past the pain and play a little bit longer. I kicked the ball out. It
went to an area that was in between my teammate and one of the other team's
players. My teammate didn't go to the ball. The other team's player did. She
took some space, shot; the ball flew up, hit the crossbar, and went in the
goal. The game was over. We lost.
That was my final NEAC soccer game. My teammate thought
that she didn't need to get back because there were only a few seconds left.
She didn't put a complete effort in; and, because of that, we lost. She chose
not to support her team through the whole match.
In life, we will have hard times. It is difficult to get
through those hard times alone. That's why we aren't on earth alone. We are
relational beings. It is important to support one another. Galatians 6:2 says: “Carry
each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
We are to carry other people's burdens. It's hard to carry certain burdens
alone. That's why we are called to help. We can pray for that person, spend
time with that person, or help in many other ways to help make that burden
lighter.
So, are you trying to carry burdens on your own? What can
you do to help someone with his or her burden today?
A coach is so much more than just someone who shows
someone how to play a sport. A coach is a teacher, sometimes a doctor, a
leader, an encourager, a friend, a role model, and so much more. One area that
I have found that coaches need to be more of nowadays is an encourager.
One year I was coaching a team that had lost every game
and we were halfway through the season. I saw a player sitting on the bench
after a game when all other players had gone home. I went up to her and asked
her what was wrong. She said she was discouraged because she felt she wasn't
playing well and she had never lost so much in a season. That's when I had to
put on my encouragement hat as a coach.
I reminded her that we were a brand new team. I had many
girls who hadn't played before. Many of the girls hadn't ever played with each
other before either. I said, because of my experience in soccer, I didn't
really mind losing. What I did mind is if we didn't put forth our best effort.
I then asked her if she had done her best in the game. She said,
"yes." I said, "that's all I ask."
I then pointed out that not only had she improve herself,
but we had improved as a team. We weren't losing by much anymore. And, we were
completing passes up the field in order to get scoring opportunities. I told
her "we will get there at some point. Stop doubting the team and your own
abilities. Try to focus on what we have accomplished as a team rather than what
we haven't. Make it your goal to get better every day. Then you will help us
reach our team's potential." She agreed and went about doing what I asked.
In life, we also will have doubts. We aren't perfect. We
are going to mess up. But, if we focus on what we cannot do or didn't do then
we are hurting ourselves. To make matters worse, we are not just hurting
ourselves but those around us who work with us and love us. These people care
about us and want us to succeed.
As if that's not enough if we doubt ourselves we are
hurting our creator. Philippians 2:13 says: "For it is God who works in
you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure." God gave us our
abilities. He wants us to use them to reflect his glory. He doesn't want us to
grumble or complain about what we cannot do. If we fail or fall he is with us
to pick us back up. That's how much he loves us. That's why he doesn't like it
when we hurt ourselves by doubting our abilities. He gave us those abilities
and he wouldn't have done that if he didn't believe in us to use them.
So, do you doubt yourself too much? What can you do to
encourage someone today? How can you reflect God's glory today?
"You can't win a game by yourself. Soccer is a team
sport."
Once I had a player who was very much a me player. She
felt she had to do everything herself. She would dribble up the field instead
of passing to the open player. She would shoot from strange angles. And, if she
did pass to her teammates, she would yell at them if they messed up. It just
wasn't the greatest situation for her or the other girls on the team.
I thought about what I could do to help her understand
that soccer is a team sport. I enjoy doing what I call experiments at
practices. If my team is having a problem I do an object lesson to help them
learn a lesson. This time I asked for 4 volunteers. I set up goals on a small
field. Then I had one player against the other 3 players. That doesn't seem
fair does it? Well, it wasn't but I was making a point. The girl by herself
lost. The 3 girls won. The 3 girls won because they worked together to score.
They played as a team. The girl by herself had to play every position.
It is the same way in life. If humans were meant to be
alone God wouldn't have created Eve. We are relational beings. We don't all
have the same abilities either. Romans 12:4-5 says: "For as in one body we
have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we,
though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of
another." Just like in soccer there are many positions, there are many
positions in society. Every position is important. If we didn't have sanitation
workers everything would be dirty. If we didn't have builders we wouldn't have
buildings to work in. If we didn't have assistants we wouldn't be able to focus
on big projects.
It's the same way in the body of Christ. Everyone in the
body of Christ has different gifts. If we didn't have someone in the body then
the body wouldn't be the same. We all work together to reach the lost for them
to join the body of Christ. It is a team effort. One person can't reach all the
lost. It is a team effort. I pray that we support one another as we do our work
for Christ.
So, are you trying to be a lone ranger and reach others
on your own? What can you do to reach the lost today?
"Respect our team, the coaches, the other team, the
refs and yourselves."
Right before every game the coaches and the captains meet
with the refs. During that time the refs do a little speech. In that speech the
refs say to basically be respectful of the fans, refs, the opposing team, and
your team. They need to do that because nowadays people have issues respecting
just about anyone, even themselves sometimes.
Thus why I began to say this quote to my team. Was it
hard at times? Yes, especially when the other team is swearing at you, the refs
are missing blatant calls, or the fans are heckling you. I remember many times
I'd have to calm my team down because they'd want to retaliate. But, what does
retaliating actually do? It just makes everyone angrier. Then things get out of
control and people get hurt.
Respect is something that I believe is beginning to be
lost nowadays. People don't say sorry, excuse me, please, or thank you. People
look out only for themselves. People don't respect their elders, police
officers, doctors, teachers, and many more jobs that used to have automatic
respect. Yes, I know some people in those professions have messed up but that
doesn't mean that all people in those professions are bad.
Romans 12:10 says: "Love one another with brotherly
affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Respect could also be
known as love. Before you say or do something put of anger you need to think.
Are you going to show love and respect in what you are about to do? It's okay
to have emotions but in acting in them will you regret what you did or hurt
someone you love? It's not always easy to respect everyone yet that's what we
are called to do. That's how people will see we are different.
So, are you showing respect to others? What can
you do to show respect to someone today? Image from here.
One time when I was playing soccer in college our team
was really struggling. People were angry with one another because people were
yelling at other people on the field. It got very bad and our captains called a
meeting. One of the captains said, "how many of you don't like to be
encouraged?" No one raised her hand. Then we discussed how we like to be
encouraged specifically. Some people needed to be demanded to do things on the
field. Others would rather be talked to one on one. However, no one said they
wanted criticism all the time.
Playing a sport isn't easy especially if you are losing
or in an intense match. Many times people have yelled things at me that didn't
make me want to play harder for them. I still did my best but at the end of the
game it just made me feel bad even if we won. Other times I've had people
encourage me on the field and I feel like I could play forever if I needed to.
One compliment can make someone's day.
In the world it is very difficult for some people to
encourage others. All it takes is a few words to make or break someone's day.
You choose if you are going to make or break someone's day. Many people are
unhappy with their work because of what people have said or done. I have been
the most comfortable at my job when I've had people who support and uplift me.
These people go out of their way to ask me how my day is going. They try to
encourage me.
What would happen if, instead of being negative all the
time, we tried at least once a day to encourage someone? What would the world
be like? I'm not saying to sugarcoat things. I'm saying to look for little
things you can do to make someone's day better.
So, do you try to encourage others? What can you do to
encourage someone today?
"Before you say something think: is it helpful, is
it necessary, is it said in love?"
As previously mentioned soccer is a grueling sport. But,
to make matters worse in High school you could have 19+ games in 2 months.
Those games are not typically spread out either. One year we played a game
Friday, Saturday, had off Sunday, then played Monday and Tuesday. Needless to
say the girls were exhausted. Then when you are not playing in games you have
practice every weekday you don't have a game. That's a lot of time with the
same people. If you get along with each other that's great... If you don't get
along with each other well let's just say things don't go so well at the end of
the season.
Many times when the players are tired and things aren't
going well things are said in anger that those people may not mean. Or, they
may not think about. I remember countless games where tensions were him and
people screamed at me. Do you think that helped me at all? Do you think I was
listening to their message? Do you think that encouraged me to play harder? No,
it really didn't it just made me feel worse about myself.
This is where this saying stemmed from: "Before you
say something think: is it Helpful, is it Necessary, is it said in love?"
In the heat of the moment people say things they may not mean to say. But, like
a tube of toothpaste, once you say something you can't take it back. You can
apologize, and many people do after the game, but the damage is done.
That's why we need to stop in the moment and think. Is
what I'm about to say helpful? Will this help this person improve their game?
Can this help my team? Will this help this person improve overall? If you are
going to say something to someone you work with will it be helpful for them or
will it hurt them?
Next we need to think is this necessary? Do I need to say
this? Is this pressing to say right now or should I wait to see what happens or
get more information?
Finally, if you get past these first two stipulations,
you have a responsibility to say what you say in love. Think about a time where
someone came to tell you something good that would've or did help you improve;
but the way the person said it made you not want to do what the person said.
Did you listen to them or did you get defensive? If you don't say what you feel
you need to say in love, then that person may never improve and you will have
lost a relationship.
Galatians 6:1 says: "Brothers, if anyone is caught
in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of
gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." Did you
catch that? You should restore that person in a spirit of gentleness. That
means in aspirit of love. Rather than
saying "that presentation was horrible Jim. Why did you decide to present
it that way?" You could say, "Jim that was an interesting
presentation. Maybe next time you could try to look at everyone as you are
talking. If you want help on the next presentation or any more suggestions I
would be happy to help." Do you see the difference?
So, do you think before you speak? If you don't what can
you do in order to do a better job of correcting someone in the right way? How
can you show someone you love them today?
If you know me, you know I enjoy taking personality
quizzes. Also, because I am a teacher, I like to get to know others and their
personalities. That may be why I ask my family and friends to take many random
quizzes like "what Disney Princess are you?" I really like Disney,
can you blame me? ;) One quiz I took in high school and college was the Jung personality test. I
enjoyed taking that test because it told me about the way I work. Through the
years I have taken that quiz many times; though people say your personality
doesn't change mine tends to go back and forth between 2 personalities. The
most common personality type I get is INFJ. I typically take this test on the
16 personalities website. Recently, that website put names with each of the
personalities. Mine is called the advocate.
This got me thinking about how Jesus is our advocate. 1 John 2:1-2 says:
"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if
anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father—Jesus Christ, the
Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours
but also for the sins of the whole world." How does Jesus relate to the
advocate personality? I'm glad you asked. People with the INFJ personality connect easily with others. That is because
they speak in human terms rather than in logical ones. Looking at the Bible we
see that Jesus differentiated how he spoke to people based off of the peoples'
education. Most of the time he was speaking to people who were not educated.
Jesus told these people Parables that they could relate to. Does that mean he
told the people exactly what they needed to know in plain terms? No, he wanted
people to think and seek him. Jesus did make it easy for people to understand
the principles he wanted to get across because he used stories they would understand. Another strength the advocate has is they are altruistic. I mean, just look at
what Jesus did for us. Even while he was on earth, Jesus did not really do much
for himself. He went far distances and sometimes went without food just so he
could tell others about how they could be saved. Then he completed the greatest
act of unselfishness: he died for us. He did not die for himself, he died for
us. According to the website previously mentioned, a weakness of the advocate is
they can burn out easily. This is the dark side when it comes to unselfishness.
Jesus was human while on earth. He completed so many acts that many of us may
have been done after his first month of teaching. However, Jesus knew that it
was important to rest. Go figure, God gave us a day of rest and he knows the
importance of resting. :D Jesus spent time resting, praying, and walking with
God. That's how Jesus avoided burn out. He knew he needed to step back
sometimes and rejuvenate. Advocates are loyal friends. No matter
how many times we fall away from God Jesus calls us back to him and accepts us
when we return to him. He also wants to see us grow in him. He sees our
potential and who we can become. He wants to help us grow into that person. Finally, the advocate sees subordinates as equals in the workplace. Wait, Jesus
sees us as equals?! How can we be his equal? He is God. Yeah, we definitely are
not his equal in that way but Romans 8:17 says: "Now if we are children,
then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in
his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." We get the
same inheritance Christ has: we get to have eternal life. We get to go to
heaven. You may be saying, "sweet, I accepted Christ so I'm going to
heaven to get my inheritance no matter what I do." There's a catch.
According to this verse we need to share in his sufferings. Advocates
expect workers to be as motivated and reliable as they are. In short we are to
act like Jesus. How can we act like Jesus? He is God and he is perfect. That
does not mean we are to be perfect. It just means we are to try and be like
him. Jesus knows we will not be perfect, that's why he died on the cross, and
because he loves us. We just have to continue to grow in him and try to be like
him. Why does it matter that the advocate personality sounds a lot like Jesus? It
matters because without Jesus having these attributes we would not be saved.
Why should you care about these personality types? It helps you know yourself
and others, which is what Jesus calls us to do. He calls us to love others
which means getting to know them. So, do you know how important it is for Jesus to be your advocate? How can you
grow in Jesus?
How can you use personality types to show love to others?
Picture that you have just finished the last thing you
need to do after work. It is a Friday and you are ready to go home to your
family and enjoy the weekend. You grab your coat and pack your bag. You pull
your keys out and start to walk away when suddenly you hear your co-worker. He
asks you to help him finish part of this project.
Now, you had just put in a full day of work. You were diligent and finished all
of your tasks. Then this co-worker has the gall to ask you to help him! You
have a choice. You could stay and help him or you could make up an excuse and
say you had to get home. I just want you to think about what you would do...
Meanwhile let's look at what the Bible says about this. In Matthew 5 Jesus is
giving instruction to people. He begins to talk about the idea of "an eye
for an eye" in verse 38. He says that if someone strikes your right cheek
let him strike the other as well. He goes on to say "If someone forces you
to go one mile, go with him two miles" (Mat.5.40). Now, some of you may be
saying "what does that mean? How can someone force me to go a mile?"
Others may be saying "my coach, or trainer, would make me do that."
Still others may be saying "If I had to go a mile, let alone two, I would
fall over and God would take me to heaven!"
Let's look at the context of this verse. Back in this time the Roman Empire was
in charge. Roman guards had a lot to carry at times. It was legal for a Roman
soldier to pull someone at random to help him carry his things. The soldier
could only force that person to carry his things for a mile. Thus, Jesus was
saying to go another mile with that soldier. Think about that: it is an
inconvenience for you, it is a very hard job, and you are pulled away from what
you need to do.
Back to my first situation: what would you do? Would you have stayed to help
your co-worker? Jesus would say that not only should you stay but you should
also help him finish the project! You may be asking "why should I help?
What if my co-worker takes all of the credit?" He may do that but we
cannot control the actions of others. We can only control our own actions. Who
knows? Maybe your helping the co-worker out will lead the co-worker to
Christ.
So, when people ask you to help will you help? Will you follow the teachings of
Jesus? Will you choose to go the extra mile?
Have you ever dome something for someone and they appreciated your act so much they did something in return for you? It is nice when your acts of service are noticed and reciprocated. However, that does not always happen. There's one person who does not always recieve the thanks he is due. God does so much for us. What should our response be toward someone who gives us so much.
There's a event in Jesus' life that gives us the answer. One day Jesus was traveling. He went to the disciple Peter's home. There he found Peter's mother in law in bed with a fever. Jesus touched her hand and the fever left her. She was healed. Then she got up and began to serve Jesus.
Okay so first of all, this woman had a fever. We don't know how old she was or how serious the sickness was. But we have all been sick and had a fever before. How many of you would say you like having a fever? I am sure no one likes being sick. Now, how would you feel if you were sick and someone healed you immediately. You didn't have to continue to eat chicken soup, have to take rest breaks during the day, or have to continue taking icky medicine. How would you feel toward the person who healed you?
You probably would be grateful. Sometimes though we are grateful but we don't do anything about it. We may not evenly thank you. Peter's mother in law had the correct response. We don't know if she said thank you. But we do know she immediately got up and served him. Jesus healed her and she served him. That's what our response should be toward God. He saved us and healed us from our sins. So we should serve him.
How do we serve God when we cannot see him? We serve him by following his Word. We follow the 10 commandments. We follow Jesus' example. We follow the greatest commandments and the great commission. We serve his people. We serve without expecting anything in return.
So, what is your response to God's healing? Are you following Jesus? Are you serving others as we are called to do?
One of my favorite sayings is "attitude is a
little thing that makes a big difference." All of my students and players
know that if you have a good attitude you will get far with me. I say I will
take a player who has a good attitude, puts in the effort, and is not that
skilled any day over someone who thinks they know it all and is skilled. One thing I cannot stand is people who complain. I heard a
story about complaining once that went like this. One day a man was walking
down the street. He saw an old friend. They got to talking and were trying to
catch up. The friend said, "I cannot believe schools nowadays kids just
are not learning what they should be learning." The man said "at
least kids can go to school to get an education." Later on the friend said, "I was driving the other day
and I got cut off by a trucker. People just have no common courtesy; he was
just being an idiot. He had the whole other side of the road to drive on!"
The man said, "I am just glad that you did not get in an accident and that
you are safe." The man was running out of things to say to his friend
because he felt so drained so he said, "nice weather we are having. It has
been so sunny out lately." His friend looked up at the sky and said,
"yes it has been nice. But, it looks like it is going to rain soon. When
it rains my body just tenses up so much and people are so gloomy." Can you see why I am telling you this story? This life will
not be easy. But, that doesn't mean we cannot focus on the good. There are some
people out there who choose to never look at the good. I don't know why some
people are that way but if you've ever been around those people you know it is
draining. We are Christians. We care called to be a light in the world. How can
we be a light when we choose to complain all the time? If we complain all the
time we are just creating more darkness. If you are caught in the trap of complaining I encourage you
to check your heart. In this world we will have trouble but we also have hope.
Because of that hope, we know that any trial we go through will only be
temporary. Am I saying that we cannot vent to others? No, I am saying that if
you tell any Tom, Dick, or Harry about your problems over and over then you are
either trying to get attention or you are hurting yourself. If you complain you
will keep going back to complaining and people will not want to be around you. If you know someone who is caught in the trap of complaining
I encourage you to help that person be accountable. In a nice way go to your
brother and tell him what you see. Use facts; do not say your opinion. If all
else fails and your friend does not listen, to you or to others, pray for him.
Pray that he is able to let go of contempt for others. Pray that he is able to
see the good in all situations. Pray that he will cling to God no matter what
trials come his way. So, will you choose to complain or will you be a light to the
world? How can you stop complaining if you are caught in that trap? Will you
pray for your brother if he is caught in the trap of complaining?
