For much of my life I have gone to a small church. Then I went to a Bible college and learned a lot about God and theology. Now, because my church is so small, it wasn't always easy to find someone to fill in for preaching. One day someone, somewhat jokingly, asked me if I would preach for two weeks. I said yes and that's how I began being a fill in preacher for that church.
Usually, when I am asked to preach, I wait a bit to see if I get inspired by God. If I'm meant to preach, something comes to me fairly quickly. Many times, it is something that either I can tell then applies to my life or I see it eventually apply to my life.
One time I was asked to preach during a time of turmoil in my life. A lot was happening, and it wasn't really good things. Changes were coming and I didn't like change. Then I felt led to preach about someone who had to go into the unknown.
Abraham and Sarah were asked to leave everything they knew. They were asked to leave their family and inheritance and just go where God showed them. That would make me so scared. I am someone who doesn't like change or comfort. And that's the season I was in as well.
Then, when I was at church one day, there was a time of prophecy. Someone said their prophecy that God showed them was to let it go. Let go of some things. Let go of comfort. That made me realize that I needed to let go and trust God. I needed to go into the unknown God was asking me to.
So, are you listening to God? Is God asking you to go into the unknown?
Some of you may know that each year I have a spiritual focus that I try to concentrate on. Usually, I pick something that is an area I feel I need to work on. This year was the first year I focused on something that I consider to be more of a strength of mine. I chose servanthood.
I’m not at all trying to toot my own horn here. That’s never my intention when it comes to my spiritual resolution. I just know I’ve been told by others that I have a servant’s heart. And I went through what I usually go through at the end of the year. In the last days of 2023, I prayed and asked God to give me a focus for the new year. I was surprised when I felt led to servanthood.
Then I sat and thought about it. I knew that in 2024 changes would be happening. I was hoping to get engaged and married. I was continuing to work in my new job of being the lead preschool teacher. And I was planning on getting more involved at church. Having the spiritual resolution of servanthood made sense. I just didn’t realize at the time how important it would become.
At the beginning of 2024, I felt God calling me to leave my job that I had worked at for at least five years. I had just been promoted to lead teacher, so it didn’t really make sense logically to leave. But, through stirring and circumstances, I knew it was time. I began to look for other jobs, but it isn’t easy to find teaching jobs in February. I looked for those jobs, but I kept feeling like I should change careers. I investigated being a Behavioral Health Technician. A BHT is someone who works one on one with a student who has special needs.
Now, some of you may recall that in 2023 I focused on patience and prayer. I never in a million years thought I would be contemplating becoming a BHT. I just didn’t have the patience for it, or so I thought. But then I kept hearing God say, “make a difference to the one.” I had been a teacher for years and touched so many lives, but I felt God calling me to impact just one kid. That was strange to me, but I followed his lead. I became a BHT. Let me tell you, being a BHT is not easy, but it is rewarding. And you need a lot of patience and servanthood to do it.
I also ended up getting married this year. People said that the first year of marriage is hard. That it is hard to live with someone who may not have the same habits as you. It is not easy at times, but, because I had servanthood as my focus for the year, whenever I began to feel annoyed by little things I remembered to humble myself. I remembered to stop and speak in kindness. I didn’t bury things down, but I did choose to either handle the problem myself or communicate how I felt. That may not have happened if I hadn’t remembered to be a servant.
While being a servant isn’t easy all the time, it is so important. Even Jesus humbled himself and became a servant. That’s pretty much what his whole life on earth was. He was a servant. Whether he was healing, listening, teaching, or showing love in action he served. That’s what we are called to do as well.
So, have you been a servant this year? What is God calling you to focus on spiritually now?
Pain, sorrow, anger, numbness, hurt; those are just some of the emotions I'm feeling right now. I recently wrote about how grief is a gift. Well, sometimes it can feel like a burden, especially when it is fresh. Right now, it's fresh. At 3 am on December 27th, 2024, my grandmother passed away. So, right now, I'm feeling these things.
When someone you care about passes, it's hard not to think about memories, who the person was, what they meant to you, and things they did with you. Before Gram Gram even passed, I thought about the memories I had with her. Many of them were from when I was younger. Grandma was our primary babysitter for years. She took care of us while mom and dad were working. I remember mostly little things. Things like how I would ask her to tickle me, her homemade pot pie, how she enjoyed coloring, how she patiently answered all my questions, that she would watch whatever we were watching without complaint (even if it was Lion King for the hundredth time), how she came to events to support us, just to name a few.
But as I looked back, I realized something: I was lucky. While I didn't have many specific memories that stood out, I did have little memories. And those little memories spoke to my grandma's character more than anything. For at least nine years of my life, grandma was consistently there to watch me. She showed me how to love. She showed me patience and compassion when me and my siblings were going crazy. She showed how to support and encourage when she came to our school or sport events. She even showed me how to do things that I wasn't that good at, like gardening, I did not inherit the green thumb.
Love, joy, thankfulness, peace; those are more emotions I'm feeling right now. Odd to feel when someone close to you has died. But I feel love because of who grandma was. She loved others. She loved her family. She taught her family how to love. I'm feeling joy because I know where grandma is. I know she's feeling joy and pain free because she's with her heavenly father. I'm feeling thankful because I got to have a grandma for as long as I did. I'm thankful I got to say goodbye to her. I'm thankful because of what she taught her family. She taught them how to love, compassion, how to encourage, and about Jesus. I'm feeling peace because I know her story isn't over and one day I will see her again.
Grief is still a gift. It is painful and can be a burden, but grief reminds us of what we have. It reminds us to be thankful for the time we do have and to make the most of it. This Holiday season has included more grief than I can ever remember having in my life. But it has also had some of the most loving and cherished times I can remember. Perhaps that's because this season has taught me to look at each moment as a gift. That may not have happened without the gift of grief.
So, grandma, thank you for who you were. Thank you for teaching our family so many good character traits just by being you. A godly, caring mother, grandmother, wife, and friend. We will miss you while we are here, but we'll see you someday.
Christmas is a time of year that we associate with gifts. I mean, other than Birthdays it's probably the only time of year we get gifts and give them. It's a time of year where we think about hope, peace, joy, love, and Jesus who came to bring that all. This year I was struck by something different than I was usually this season. Sure, I thought about all those things Christmas usually brings but something else happened that made me think of something new: grief.
On Thanksgiving Day, my family went to visit my grandmother at a rehabilitation facility where she was at for physical therapy. While there, across the hall, a man died. After leaving, my husband and I both said in an odd way it made us more thankful for what we had.
Later, toward the middle of December, a family friend who was a part of my parent’s church for as long as I can remember, suddenly died. It was a shock to everyone. And it made me think of how hard it was for me and my family, let alone his family, to deal with his passing.
Yes, Christmas and Thanksgiving are times we remember to be thankful, have joy, give gifts, and that Jesus came to be our Savior but sometimes it's hard for people to have those things and remember them. Grief is real and it's okay to have. Jesus even grieved over the loss of his friends. But it's also a time to remember the good. To remember the gift that life is. That God gives us this life so we can get to know him, grow in him, help others know about him, and help others grow in him.
This life has pain and sadness. This life isn't always easy. We have hurts and hang ups. But God is with us through it all. He sent Jesus so we could have hope in a future eternity with him. So, we could have peace in this life and the next. He came so we could have joy in knowing everything will be okay. That we can spread his love to others so they can have eternal life. Isn't that an amazing privilege and gift?
So, yes, grief can be a gift. It is a reminder that this world is filled with sorrow, but this world is not the end. We can rest in knowing that God is with us in Spirit here and one day we will be with him in heaven. Thank Jesus that he came as a baby, with the plan in place to eventually die as the perfect sacrifice for our sins, so we could be with him forever. He is the perfect Christmas gift
Many people have someone they look up to. Someone they want to be like. Someone who has characteristics they want to have. Who is that for you?
I don't know who that is for you, but I hope it is someone with godly characteristics. Let me ask you this: do you have someone who you don't want to be like? I'm not even talking about someone who is following the ways of the world, though I hope you are not following them. I am talking about someone that people say you act a lot like, but you don't want to be like. Maybe it's a sibling or a parent. You don't want to be like them because you want to be unique, or you see things in them that you don't like. Then what happens is you get so focused on not being like that person that it becomes a problem. The problem is what, or who, you are focused on.
When you are focused on not becoming, or being, like someone then you are not focused on who you should be like. Who are you to be like? The answer is Jesus. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, "Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." We are to imitate Christ. When we are focused on being or not being like someone else then we miss who we should be like. We should be focused on Jesus and his work. We should try to be like him instead of focused on trying to be like other people.
So, who are you trying to emulate? How can you focus on being more like Jesus today?
One day I went to a church service. I was going through something medically related but everything else in my life was going well. I felt good that night overall.
The service started and I began to get chills. Now it was hard to tell at that point if the chills were coming from the Holy Spirit, because it was cold, or because of my medical issue. I began to worry and overthink about my medical condition. At that point it was a weekend, and I wasn't on medical insurance. If I had to go somewhere it would cost a lot of money.
I began to feel the anxiety creep in. In the past, I had a major anxiety issue. I knew what it felt like for me. My brain began to become foggy, my heart raced, and I felt short of breath. But each time I told myself I was safe, and God was with me. This continued through much of the service. I finally realized what was happening. Satan was trying to distract me from what was happening. He didn't want me to focus on the service or God. He wanted me to focus on anything but God. That's when I knew it had to end.
I commanded Satan to leave me alone. I took my thoughts captive. I asked God to help me and to heal me. Suddenly I felt something wash over me. My brain felt peace first. Then I felt it in my spirit. I also didn't feel as much pain, which was part of my medical issue.
So many times I think we think we need to handle things on our own. We think God can't help us or won't or we are scared to call on him because maybe he didn't answer us in a way we wanted him to before. But it's not our job to fix things. It's our job to trust him. It's our job to fix our eyes on him instead of our problems or the things of this world. You don't have to carry your burdens. You don't have to worry. You can give all that over to God. And he will give you peace.
So, what are you carrying today? Will you give that burden over to God?
One day I was at church. In the middle of worship, I began to feel an unwelcome presence. Anxiety began creeping in. I was tired and weak from the week. Once I felt it, I had a choice. I could choose to accept it. I could give it a name. I could say, "well, it's back. What can I do?" Or I could say, "no, you cant have me. I rebuke you. I wont even give you a name."
I prayed immediately and asked God for strength. I asked him to rid me of this evil presence. The next song literally talked about this. It talked about pleading the blood of Jesus. It's not in my own power or will that I can be rid of that presence. Jesus' blood washed me clean and he has the power to demolish demons and strongholds. I needed to trust in his strength.
1 Peter 5:8 was what I followed right away, "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." Instead of relying on my own power, I claimed Gods power. I tagged him in, and the anxiety was gone a lot quicker.
So, when you feel the devil attacking what do you do? How can you follow 1 Peter 5:8?
