All the Pressure: Encanto Series

    Do you ever feel like you have so much going on in your life that it's too much? Do you ever feel pressure to be perfect all the time? Do you ever feel like showing emotion is weakness? Then you will relate to the song "Surface Pressure" from Encanto.

   This song is sung by Mirabel's older sister Luisa. Luisa's gift is strength. When someone in the village needed something moved, they would go to Luisa. There was a problem though. Luisa was strong physically, but she may have felt like she needed to be strong emotionally as well. She was the "rock" of the family. That is a lot of pressure. What happens to something if you put too much pressure on it? It breaks.

   See, like Luisa, sometimes we put too much on us. We are not perfect. We never were and we never were meant to be. There was only one perfect man and he walked on water. You can't do that. I can't do that. So why do we feel like we must be perfect all the time? 

   Maybe it is because we live in a world where an emphasis is put on success, money, having it all, etc. We feel if we fail, we are letting someone down. But in failing we learn. In failing we grow. In failing we see the need for a perfect savior. 

   Matthew 11:28-30 reminds us of this when it says: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." God wants us to come to him with our problems. He wants us to trust in him. He wants us to confess our sins to him so we can be with him in eternity. God doesn't expect perfection. He expects confession, love, and faith. He then gives us hope. We don't need to stress or feel pressure because God has taken that away with his Son's work on the cross.

   So, what are you stressing about today? How can you remember to trust in God instead of leaning on your own power?

 

 

In the Fire

    I've talked about feeling sukkerpunched before. Well, those times when everything seems to be going wrong or there's a lot of problems or changes can also feel like you are in a fire. Like you are getting burned.

   I've felt that way before. I feel that way now. There's a lot going on in my life right now. There are problems in almost every area of my life. But there is hope. We only need to look at the Bible to see the hope. Story after story tells us about people who had faith and hope in God.

   One specific story about faith in the fire is about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abbendago. They knew it was wrong to worship a graven image. If they chose not to worship it, they could lose their lives. They would be thrown in the furnace. That was the literal fire they were facing. They didn't know what would happen, but they trusted that God would be with them. They had hope that God would save them.

   They chose to follow God even though it was hard. They chose to do what was right even though it would impact their whole lives. Because they did that, God was with them in the fire. He saved them from death because they chose to follow him.

   So, when you are facing the fire what do you do? How can you trust God more in the fire?

https://youtu.be/AeBaS_w67Ak

Don't Settle

    A few years ago, I began the journey of online dating. I was older than most people were when I started dating. I knew it may be possible that I find someone who was following Jesus but wasn't quite what I had in mind for a husband. I wasn't expecting perfection, as no one is perfect, but I was hoping for someone who could walk through life with me and who was following God.

   As I began the journey, I talked with some guys who called themselves spiritual but didn't believe in Jesus as their personal savior. I stopped talking with them fairly quickly as I knew that I needed someone who would follow Christ. Then I talked with some who were believers in Christ, but something still didn't feel right.

   See, I knew that there wasn’t one perfect person out there for everyone. What I was looking for was someone who could lead our family in a biblical way. Anything else was a bonus. The guys I was talking with were Christian and some were even leaders in their churches so I knew they would be good as a husband. But something kept holding me back from agreeing to be their girlfriend.

   Then I met Nate. He believed in Christ and was a humble leader. In no way was Nate perfect, but he was following the same path I was, and I felt equally yoked to him. And, as a bonus, he had many of the same interests I did. 

   He was more than I could have hoped for. Because, for years, I thought something was wrong with me. I thought no one would want me because no one had shown an interest in me. But that was a lie. God wanted me. He wanted me to trust him. He wanted me to grow in him, lean on him, and love him before I could love another the way God loves. 

   He also wanted what is best for me and it was better than what I was expecting. I was ready to settle. When I say settle, I was ready to find a man who was following God. And, yes, that would have been enough and fine. But God had more in store for me. He had a different plan. And it was so much better than settling.

   So, are you where you need to be in your walk with God? How can you trust in his plan more each day?

Slipping Down the Cliff

     Sometimes I feel like Cliff Hanger from the show Between the Lions. I am holding onto the cliff, trying to climb it, but it doesn’t seem like I'm getting that far. Worse, there are times where it feels like I am slipping.

   What I mean is, when I am in a close relationship with God I am holding onto the cliff and climbing just fine. God's showing me which handholds and footholds to use. But when I miss spending time with him in his word or in prayer I begin to slip. I miss a handhold, and it feels like I am falling.

   These are times when life gets busy. You know the times I'm talking about. When you have school, work, activities for you or your family, church, vacations, bills, etc. And time just gets away from you. That's the time the Devil seems to love the most. He loves poking at your hands and feet to try to get you to slip away from God.

   But here's the thing, even though it's not always easy we do have a choice. When we begin to slip, maybe fall back into sin, we can choose to hold on. We can choose to reach up to God's hand that is right there to grab us.

Take a Hike They Said

    Have you ever been hiking? It can be a fun experience depending on the difficulty and distance. Well one year my husband decided he wanted to hike to flat rock at Camp YoliJwa. I told him I'd do it if we did it in the morning so we could see the sunrise and so it was cooler. He agreed and we got my siblings and some of their friends to agree to do it as well. 

   We started out strong. Then we began to go up steep hills. I had done the hike before, but it had been a while. And this time I wasn't in the greatest shape, my allergies were acting up, my knee was in pain, and I had asthma. I had a lot going against me, but I wanted to try to make it. 

   I started to feel my breath becoming ragged, so I stopped. I continued after a bit. Then after a few more minutes I could feel it happening again. I stopped and took off the warmer layer I needed because it was cold. I let someone else take the lead at that point so I could go at a slower pace. It happened one more time after a bit. I sat on a rock this time.

   At that point I could feel a panic attack coming on. We were over 1 mile into a 5-mile hike. I felt like giving up and going back. I felt like I was a burden to the others and especially to my husband who stayed back with me. Then my husband asked how I was feeling. I said I felt like a burden. He said not to worry about the others but worry about myself. He said I was fighting a lot more than he was because he was just fighting being tired. He also said not to let it steal my joy. 

   Those were all the things I needed to hear. I had major fear in my heart of letting others down, of letting myself down. I was so focused on others and what they thought that I wasn't focused on me and my needs. I got back up. I kept walking even if it was slower than I wanted to. Eventually, I became the leader again for a time. Then we made it to flat rock. It was a nice view. 

   The trek back down the mountain was a lot easier. And we had some good conversations along the way. Had I decided to turn back, I would have missed out on the sights of God's creation and some bonding time with other Christians. I would have missed a lot if I would've listened to the fear and doubt. And that's how it is in most instances in life. If we listen to the fear and doubt Satan sends our way we miss out on good things. On the things God has planned for us.

   So what challenges are you facing now? How can you trust God in those challenges? How can you trust God when you are afraid and doubt?

IDK What's Going to Happen

    Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future. I try not to get too far ahead of God but this time it was bordering on worry. No matter how many times I tried to stop, something else would come up. Someone would say something about the future or ask about my future plans. I don’t have any. That made me spiral and worry about if I need to be worrying about the future.

   All that worrying is futile. It's not helping the situation. There's a saying that goes, "never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God." I believe God has a plan for my life. I just don’t know what it is yet.

   There is one thing I do know; I know God is with me. He is for me. He loves me. As long as I seek him, I can never be out of his will for my life. He’s got this. He believes in me, when I doubt myself. I guess that was more than one thing, but you get my drift.

   Life isn’t easy and we are promised it wouldn’t be because if we follow Christ, the world will not like us. But there is purpose in the pain. And the pain will only last a little bit. Then we will be with our creator in heaven. That's the future I'm looking forward to. How about you?

https://youtu.be/ZtsOR-5iOPY

Give the Fight to God

    Have you ever had a time when you were going through something difficult? Just something bad happened. Like something that could change the course of your life. That's what happened to me one summer right before I went on vacation.

   This was my first vacation where I wasn't volunteering in years. I was going to South Carolina with my boyfriend to stay at his parents’ house. Honestly, I wasn't that nervous about that fact. But it could have also been due to the fact that I was preoccupied with this problem. We went there and I enjoyed my free time, but the problem was still in the back of my mind. I knew I'd have to face it when I went home.

   Sunday rolled around and we went to church. The pastor said he felt the spirit telling him that someone was there who needed to let something go in order to continue in their purpose for God. Now, I don't like going forward in front of people. Yes, I've preached before but that's different. This is going up and asking for help. I don't like bothering people or being perceived as weak. 

   I felt led to go forward but my brain was fighting my spirit. Eventually my spirit won, and I went up. I bowed at the alter and just poured out my spirit to God. A lady, who was one of their prayer partners, laid her hand on me and asked me what was going on. I filled her in on some of the problem. She prayed over me. She prayed that I would give the fight over to God. I hadn't even told her all the story and she prayed specifics about what was going on. After, I felt peace. The problem was still there but by letting someone in on it when God called me to, I had peace for the first time in a while. 

   So, when problems come up do you follow the leading of the spirit? Are you giving the fights in your life to God?

https://youtu.be/_6R-RqxkYMU

Powerless Except For

    Have you ever had a time where you couldn't help someone because you just couldn't. It may have been an instance where they didn't need something physically, you couldn't cheer them up, or you just didn't know what to do for them because maybe they didn't even know what they needed. I've experienced that. It has happened many times but one time it happened within two days there were two instances where I was powerless to help someone I loved.

    The first time was when he didn't feel well. All I could do was give him meds and offer to get him something if he felt he needed it. Then I just sat there and watched as he was in pain. The next day he said he didn't have the greatest day because he was with a childhood friend who was struggling. I didn't know what was said in the conversation, but it was weighing on him. I tried distracting him, but I don't think I was that successful.

  In both situations I was powerless. I wanted to have something I could do, something I could fix. Something I could fight for him. But I couldn't. So, what I did in both situations is I prayed silently. I prayed for healing. I prayed for strength. I prayed for God to move in his life.

   Prayer is powerful. It is always powerful. But it is especially powerful when there's nothing, we can do ourselves. It's the first step we should take instead of the last. It's what we should do in every instance and not just use it as a cop out. You are not powerless because you have the God who created everything on your side. He loves you and created prayer so he could have a relationship with you. Are you conversing with him and asking him to move in your life?

https://youtu.be/DcqWc7QvSs4

Supposed To's

 What's with all the supposed to's?

It feels like it's nothing new.

We are supposed to have money to live comfortably,

But is that what we always see?

We are supposed to be always perfect and on,

But that wears us down to the point where we sing a sad song.

We are supposed to be happy all the time every day,

But that just makes us unreal I need to say.

What's with all the supposed to's?

It seems like there's so much to do.

We are supposed to obey the law,

But how can we do that for the long hall?

We are supposed to love others,

But what if someone doesn't act like a brother?

We are supposed to serve,

But what if you are overworked and on your last nerve?

What's with all the supposed to's?

God loves us no matter what we do.

We should lower our expectations and just be,

That's what God wants from you and me.

He wants us to grow,

And to reap the fruit we sow.

Faith in our work is what will show,

When we just learn to let God and let go.

So, are you focused too much on the supposed to's in life? How can you learn to lean on God and grow in him?

https://youtu.be/cGUaZPbW-s4

The Next Chapter

    I am a person who thrives in one-on-one meetings. I can thrive in groups if I'm comfortable and I can thrive on my own and need that to recharge at times but one on ones is where I feel most comfortable. That's how I usually meet with my friends. And that's how I was meeting with a friend from high school and college one day.

   Near the end of this meeting, I asked the question I usually ask my friends: is there anything I can be praying about for you? It was funny because even though it had been a year since we met my friend knew I would ask that question. She replied and then asked me the same question. I asked for prayer because I was falling into the trap of thinking my life was mundane. 

   Now this friend isn't one that just lets things like that rest. She wants to dig deeper, to search for the meaning behind the words we say. She said that I sounded like her sister who asked her the other day if her life has meaning. To this I immediately replied that I know my life has meaning. Then why are you feeling this way? She countered.

   This caused me to pause because I knew that I was feeling this way, but I didn't know why. I dug deep to try to figure out the reason. I spoke the words as the thought came to me, I was impatient for my next chapter of life. I was bored with my life in general. It was the same every day. Get up, get dressed, read my devotional, eat, work, eat, work, home, eat, relax, sleep, and do it all over.

   And there's nothing wrong with that schedule or your schedule you have. But I'm sure you've faced this problem too. You feel bored or like there's something more for you out there and you want it now. It's okay to want things. It's just that we shouldn't let the desire for those things or new chapters take away from the here and now. In looking at my life as mundane or boring I was missing out on little miracles right in front of me. I was missing out on a chapter God was writing in my book.

   Psalm 139:16 says, "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." God is writing our stories. He has a plan for each of us. We just need to surrender to his will. We need to be willing to enjoy each chapter of life no matter if we perceive it as hard or mundane because God put it there for a reason.

   So, what chapter are you going through in life right now? How do you feel about that chapter? How can you trust God with each chapter of your life?

https://youtu.be/geR0UBzDpdY

Footprints in the Snow

     As a kid, I enjoyed many activities in the snow. One of them was making footprints in the snow. Now, I was organized even as a child. I tried to make footprints only in one area. Also, I kept a specific area in the yard clear of footprints because I liked seeing snow without them in it, but that’s beside the point.

  Why did I enjoy making footprints? Well, other than enjoying acting like a giant, I liked making an impact on something. Once you put your foot in the snow and took two more steps you could look back and see what your shoe looked like. It was interesting looking at the details that the bottom of my boot made. Then I would race off to make a snowman or go sledding and not think about it much more after that.

   My footprint wouldn’t stay there long though. Inevitably more snow would come, someone else would step there, or the snow would melt. But that took time. 

It’s incredible to think about how temporary things are. One minute I made my impact on the world (literally if there was mud) and the next it was gone. That’s how our lives are too. One minute we are here and the next we are gone. Wow, morbid turn I know right. But it’s the truth. Our legacy will inevitably end and what then?

   What will matter in the long run? Will the house you have, the car you drove, how much money you have matter when you die? No, none of that will matter. What will matter? How can you have a legacy that lasts? Paul talks about this in Colossians 3:1-17. He says we are to put away the things of this world. We are to focus on Godly things such as compassion and love. Those are the things that will matter in heaven. That’s what will make a legacy, not for us but for God. And that’s what we should be focused on.

   So, are you focused on your legacy or on God’s and how you can make a difference for him on earth? How can you make an impact for the kingdom each day?

https://youtu.be/PYPJv0pfI3w

It's Good

To all my readers, I apologize for not posting for a while. For some reason, blogger would not allow me to post anything for some time and I do not know why. I am hoping the problem is fixed. Thank you for continuing to read my blog! 

My car is beginning to rust.

It costs so much to fix that my wallet may bust.

But it’s good.

I’m struggling at my job.

And the stress is so much it’s making my back throb.

But it’s good.

I may not be able to coach soccer.

That’s causing my heart to stir.

But it’s good.

I may not get married when I want.

And that’s making me sad if I’m being blunt.

But it’s good.

Things aren’t going the way I planned.

And I may not understand.

But it’s still good.

You may ask why?

Don’t get me wrong, I still cry.

But even through that, it’s still good.

It’s a really simple reason.

I may not enjoy every season. 

But it’s still good.

God is with me through it all.

He will never let me fall.

That’s why it’s still good.

So, through it all do you know it is still good? How can you trust God more each day?

https://youtu.be/_2G6PlSZxZ4

Let Go and Go Into the Unknown

    For much of my life I have gone to a small church. Then I went to a Bible college and learned a lot about God and theology. Now, because my church is so small, it wasn't always easy to find someone to fill in for preaching. One day someone, somewhat jokingly, asked me if I would preach for two weeks. I said yes and that's how I began being a fill in preacher for that church.

   Usually, when I am asked to preach, I wait a bit to see if I get inspired by God. If I'm meant to preach, something comes to me fairly quickly. Many times, it is something that either I can tell then applies to my life or I see it eventually apply to my life.

   One time I was asked to preach during a time of turmoil in my life. A lot was happening, and it wasn't really good things. Changes were coming and I didn't like change. Then I felt led to preach about someone who had to go into the unknown.

   Abraham and Sarah were asked to leave everything they knew. They were asked to leave their family and inheritance and just go where God showed them. That would make me so scared. I am someone who doesn't like change or comfort. And that's the season I was in as well.

   Then, when I was at church one day, there was a time of prophecy. Someone said their prophecy that God showed them was to let it go. Let go of some things. Let go of comfort. That made me realize that I needed to let go and trust God. I needed to go into the unknown God was asking me to.

   So, are you listening to God? Is God asking you to go into the unknown?

https://youtu.be/mh6NO0pWpYU

You Don't Have to be a Beast of Burden

    One day I went to a church service. I was going through something medically related but everything else in my life was going well. I felt good that night overall.

   The service started and I began to get chills. Now it was hard to tell at that point if the chills were coming from the Holy Spirit, because it was cold, or because of my medical issue. I began to worry and overthink about my medical condition. At that point it was a weekend, and I wasn't on medical insurance. If I had to go somewhere it would cost a lot of money. 

   I began to feel the anxiety creep in. In the past, I had a major anxiety issue. I knew what it felt like for me. My brain began to become foggy, my heart raced, and I felt short of breath. But each time I told myself I was safe, and God was with me. This continued through much of the service. I finally realized what was happening. Satan was trying to distract me from what was happening. He didn't want me to focus on the service or God. He wanted me to focus on anything but God. That's when I knew it had to end. 

   I commanded Satan to leave me alone. I took my thoughts captive. I asked God to help me and to heal me. Suddenly I felt something wash over me. My brain felt peace first. Then I felt it in my spirit. I also didn't feel as much pain, which was part of my medical issue.

   So many times I think we think we need to handle things on our own. We think God can't help us or won't or we are scared to call on him because maybe he didn't answer us in a way we wanted him to before. But it's not our job to fix things. It's our job to trust him. It's our job to fix our eyes on him instead of our problems or the things of this world. You don't have to carry your burdens. You don't have to worry. You can give all that over to God. And he will give you peace.

   So, what are you carrying today? Will you give that burden over to God?

https://youtu.be/3yuvuH82Poc

You Can't Have Me

   One day I was at church. In the middle of worship, I began to feel an unwelcome presence. Anxiety began creeping in. I was tired and weak from the week. Once I felt it, I had a choice. I could choose to accept it. I could give it a name. I could say, "well, it's back. What can I do?" Or I could say, "no, you cant have me. I rebuke you. I wont even give you a name."

   I prayed immediately and asked God for strength. I asked him to rid me of this evil presence. The next song literally talked about this. It talked about pleading the blood of Jesus. It's not in my own power or will that I can be rid of that presence. Jesus' blood washed me clean and he has the power to demolish demons and strongholds. I needed to trust in his strength. 

   1 Peter 5:8 was what I followed right away, "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." Instead of relying on my own power, I claimed Gods power. I tagged him in, and the anxiety was gone a lot quicker. 

   So, when you feel the devil attacking what do you do? How can you follow 1 Peter 5:8?

https://youtu.be/l-AOvBK6x4Y

 

The Hairy, Scary...

   My dog, Jak Jak loves to play. One day I was playing with him while he had the zoomies (was running back and forth from room to room). I got in a pounce position when he ran back to me. Then I started to move slowly toward the pantry. I started the scary music... "dun nu.... dun nu... dun dun dun dun.. dun dun.. dun dun dun dun.. dun dun..." Out of the pantry, I pulled.... a hairy, scary... box of Fruity Pebbles.

   Jak cocked his head. Then he began to wag his tail. I laughed and poured my cereal. But that got me thinking about how I knew what I was going to pull out of the pantry wasn't scary. Jak didn't know that. He assumed that what was coming out of that was bad.

   It seems silly but how many times do we do that? How many times do we assume that a situation or a problem will be scary? How many times does God call us to do something that scares us?

   It reminds me of Moses' story. He was a prince of Egypt. He left but God called him to go back. The Egyptians didn't like him, and his people didn't like him that much either. He was scared. Yet God was with him. He is with you too.

   We have no reason to fear because God is on our side. God is more powerful than anything we face. He can destroy strongholds and knock down any problem we face. Sometimes he does that. Other times he doesn't. But no matter what he has a plan, and we can trust him.

   So, are you trusting God? How often are you spending time with God so you know his word and that you can trust him?

https://youtu.be/79Wom9FWlxc

The Power of Prayer

   Have you ever wondered what is going in in America? We have over 50% of people who claim to be Christians in America and things just seem to be getting worse. Why is that?

   Well, there are people who claim to be Christians but that's just a name to them. Others go to church Sunday but the rest of the week they live for themselves. Still, others go to church but are hypocrites and use the church to gain things for themselves.

   I've mentioned this book before but there is a book called Demon by Tosca Lee. In it, a man is tasked with writing a demon's Memoir. The man tried to avoid the demon by visiting a church. But the demon came to the church anyway. The man said he was surprised the demon was able to come in. The demon replied that some of the people who come to church are the worst of all (or something along those lines). 

   Later in the book, the man asks the demon why he never visited him at his apartment. The demon replies by saying there is too much spiritual static there. See, across from the man lived an older woman. She was a Christian, cared for the man, prayed for him, hosted a Bible study, etc. She walked the faith. 

   This shows the power of prayer. Prayer can change events. Prayer can move mountains. Prayer can change hearts. Prayer has power. It has spiritual, wonderworking power. God shows us that through his Word. And he is still showing that today. We just need to be looking for it.

   So, are you following God? How often do you pray? Do you have faith that moves mountains?

   Mat.17.20

https://youtu.be/CSVP65-Vo4E

The Only Thing I'm Sure Of

    You ever have one of those nights? You know, the ones where you can't sleep because your mind is going. Or maybe your body just hurts. Or for some other reason you just can't sleep. Yeah, that’s been happening to me a lot lately.

   I did a lot of reflection on my life. That was good and I didn't dwell on it too much. But now I'm struggling with the future. I am a creature of habit. I like it when I have a plan and know what's going to happen. I can deal with change, but I don't like a lot of changes at once. 

   That's where my head is at. I'm laying in bed with a tired mind that won't stop. I'm laying in my bed with a body that is physically exhausted from work. But I can't sleep. I know I need it. I know that God is with me, and I don't need to fear or overthink things. But I can't sleep.

   I lay here wondering. Wondering where I should live. Wondering what will happen with my relationship next. Wondering if I should stay at my job or find a new one. Wondering if I should continue coaching. Wondering why my social life is pretty much nonexistent. Wondering why my body hurts so much. Wondering why I can feel negative thoughts that I don't like creeping in. Wondering about pretty much every aspect of my life. I lay here wondering.

   And, as I wonder, I begin to wonder what I should do at this immediate moment. Should I keep trying to sleep? Should I read, pray, talk to God, sing, continue my trains of thought? The thought that kept interrupting those thoughts was the song lyrics, "oh no you never let go." And that thought helped open a new thought train.

   What am I sure of? Honestly, not much. I don't know if I will live in this apartment for the rest of the year, if I will stay in this job, if I will keep coaching, if I will make new friends, or if I will live through the night. Yeah, sometimes the thoughts are kind of morbid. There was nothing I was sure of. Except, that God is with me.

   I had that thought then peace washed over me. I was only sure of one thing and that was God. He's there. He's with me I the good and the bad. He's with me when I'm overthinking things. He's with me as I sit here in the dark typing this. And he has a plan for me. He's got one for you too.

   So, as I sit here in the dark, I haven't figured out much. I don't have a plan. And, if I'm being honest, that doesn't bring me much comfort. But there is someone who is comforting me right now. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you can have his comfort too. And you can be sure of one thing, or I should say, one person: God.

https://youtu.be/-Pch1_467pM

COVID

    I began a grueling time with COVID. I've had COVID before. It did take a lot out of me. I had many of the same symptoms as before. I just expected it would be about the same as the times before. I was wrong.

I was congested beyond any level I had been ever. I was exhausted and unable to sleep. When sleep finally came, I didn't want to wake up. I wasn't hungry but when hunger came it was ravenous. The problem was I had no energy. Yeah, I could hardly even sit up at a table. Chewing? Took the energy out of me. And when I did get any headway, my head would start aching and pounding. 

   That went on for at least 10 days. 10 days of misery. 10 days of questions. 10 days of "God why?" "God did I sin?" "God, do I need to learn a lesson?" "God tell me what to do to get better, please." 10 days of crying out for healing. And nothing.

   I wasn't even able to make it through a whole day of work at that time. I was weak, tired, and losing hope. So, what do you do when you have nothing left?

   I had to look for the glimmers. What was good? Where did I see God? I saw God in him sending my boyfriend to be my helper. I saw God in the scriptures, as I listened to healing scriptures for many of those days. I saw God in people reaching out to check on me. I saw God in the songs he sent over the radio. I saw God in the podcasts that randomly played while I was resting. I saw God in women praying in the spirit over me for healing. I saw God in my students listening and helping me. I saw God in my bosses being supportive and caring. 

   None of those things changed my circumstances, but it did change my perspective. I was still tired and in pain, but I was thankful for those around me. I was still congested but I saw help coming. And, as I write this, I'm still sick. But I know God is with me. Will I still face thought battles? Probably. Will I still get emotional? Probably. I don't know if there's a grand lesson in this suffering. I don't even know if I'll make it through work tomorrow. But I know whose I am and who is for me. That's what I need.

   So, when challenging times come what do you do? Where do you look? Who do you look to?

https://youtu.be/qxhfWhxmqa8

Do You Like Being Lukewarm?

   Have you ever taken a sip of iced coffee or of soda and it is warm? Have you ever taken a sip or hot chocolate or coffee and it is cold? Both experiences are not very pleasurable. It's not how the drink is meant to be enjoyed. Cold drinks should be cold. Warm drinks should be warm. But have you ever asked yourself if maybe you do enjoy being lukewarm?

   What? Who would like that? Well, I have found that many people like being on the fence. It doesn't sound like a very comfortable position but people do enjoy it. People like waiting for the result of elections, push button issues, wars, or anything that divides us to see who wins. Then they say, "oh yeah I was on their side the whole time." But of people were watching them, they would know better. They would know that the only reason that person chose that side is because that side won.

   Some people like to be this way with their faith. Maybe they have read enough of the bible to know God wins but they don't want to give their life over to him. Maybe they want to keep that one sin. They don't want to give control to God and be all in.

   In choosing to do that, they are choosing to follow themselves, thus following Satan. There is no I'm going to follow God a little. There is no, I'm going to just dip my toe in this side a bit but keep the rest of me on this side. You are either all in on Gods side or you are on Satan's side. The choice is yours.

   So, are you following God or Satan? How can you you choose to be all in today? How can you grow in God today?

https://youtu.be/oAa8qDI7__8?si=NKPvVzMNoWILIXVr