There are times I don’t feel worthy. I've talked with
Nate (my husband) about how I don’t feel worthy of him. He is a man who is
walking with God. He hears from God. He is following Gods calling for his life.
There are
definitely times I don’t feel worthy of God. I am a sinner. I mess up daily. I don’t
deserve mercy and compassion, yet God gives me it. He gives you it. He loves us
so much that he died for us. That alone makes us worthy, nothing else we do or
say.
Yet, that
doesn't mean we are to still walk in sin. Knowingly or unknowingly we will
still sin. The point is we are to try to walk in a manner worthy to God.
Colossians 1:10 says, "So as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully
pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the
knowledge of God." We are to be growing in God. We are to want to do what
God calls us to do. We are to bear his good fruit by following him. We are to
want to know more about him and his ways. That's how we walk in a way worthy or
him.
So, are you
walking in a manner worthy of God? What can you do to grow in God each day?
One morning, just as the sun was beginning to rise, a little girl raced down the road. She crested the hill and, only then, began to slow down. The view of the beach was breathtaking. The sun glimmering off the calm waves of the ocean. The sound of the waves brought peace over the girl. She paused for a moment just to take it all in.
But that was all she allowed herself, a moment. She had a task to do, and she knew it would not be an easy one. There was a storm last night. It was a big one that kept her up with how loud it was, but she stayed brave and prayed. She knew God was protecting her. She also knew that, because of the storm, other things might happen.
Marching down the hill, she saw she was correct. Across the beach lay a sea of red and orange. This was more than she had expected! The immense weight of how many washed up on the shore hit her. How would she ever finish? The answer, she may not. For some it could be too late. But that did not matter, she would do what she could for them.
She picked up a starfish and threw it back in the waves. One down, probably more than one hundred to go. Gently grabbing another one, she threw that back into the ocean. Then another, and another. The girl continued in this task for over an hour.
People began to come to the beach. Some were jogging, others were walking. They glanced at her as she continued in her task: bend, pick up, throw, bend, pick up, throw. None of them asked what she was doing, they just looked at her for a second then went about their business.
One couple walked down the beach. The man glanced at the girl then continued talking. The woman noticed the girl and pursed her lips. What could the girl be doing? Where were her parents? The woman let go of her partner's hand and walked up to the girl, "hello, what are you doing?"
The girl paused for a moment, "I'm throwing the starfish back." Then she picked up another one and threw it back. The woman looked down the beach and saw that many more starfishes were laying there. She also noticed the sun was getting higher. "I can see that's what you are doing, but why?" The girl didn't stop this time, "these starfish washed out of the sea probably from the storm last night. I am throwing them back, so they don't die."
The woman looked at the girl in disbelief, "why would you do that? There are so many of them." "I know that" the girl replied. The woman wouldn't let the matter drop, "you won't be able to save them all. Why don't you just stop and go play? Look at how many are left; you won't be able to pick up enough to make a difference." The girl paused, smirked, picked up a starfish and threw it back into the ocean. Then she stared pointedly at the woman, "it made a difference to that one."
I know it's strange to have this post be a Thanksgiving blog but think about the world today. Sometimes it feels like you try and try to do your best in the world, but it doesn't seem like you are making a difference. There is still world hunger. There is still war. And the world is still broken. But there is something important to remember: you don't have to do big things to make a difference.
Sometimes I think we think we need to become famous or have a huge talent to make changes in the world when that isn't the case. I have found it is the little things that make a big difference. While you may not be able to solve world hunger, you can feed the hungry in your neighborhood. While you may not be able to stop war, you can love those you see each day. And, while it may not seem like a big deal to you to do one little thing for someone, it just may be the biggest deal in the world to them. In fact, it could save their life.
This Thanksgiving I encourage you to think back on the people who have made an impact on your life. Maybe it's someone who has been in your life forever. Or it could be someone who you don't even know their name. Think of the people who have done little things in your life that have made a lasting impact on your life and be grateful for that.
My dog, Jak Jak loves to play. One day I was playing with him while he had the zoomies (was running back and forth from room to room). I got in a pounce position when he ran back to me. Then I started to move slowly toward the pantry. I started the scary music... "dun nu.... dun nu... dun dun dun dun.. dun dun.. dun dun dun dun.. dun dun..." Out of the pantry, I pulled.... a hairy, scary... box of Fruity Pebbles.
Jak cocked his head. Then he began to wag his tail. I laughed and poured my cereal. But that got me thinking about how I knew what I was going to pull out of the pantry wasn't scary. Jak didn't know that. He assumed that what was coming out of that was bad.
It seems silly but how many times do we do that? How many times do we assume that a situation or a problem will be scary? How many times does God call us to do something that scares us?
It reminds me of Moses' story. He was a prince of Egypt. He left but God called him to go back. The Egyptians didn't like him, and his people didn't like him that much either. He was scared. Yet God was with him. He is with you too.
We have no reason to fear because God is on our side. God is more powerful than anything we face. He can destroy strongholds and knock down any problem we face. Sometimes he does that. Other times he doesn't. But no matter what he has a plan, and we can trust him.
So, are you trusting God? How often are you spending time with God so you know his word and that you can trust him?
Have you ever wondered what is going in in America? We have over 50% of people who claim to be Christians in America and things just seem to be getting worse. Why is that?
Well, there are people who claim to be Christians but that's just a name to them. Others go to church Sunday but the rest of the week they live for themselves. Still, others go to church but are hypocrites and use the church to gain things for themselves.
I've mentioned this book before but there is a book called Demon by Tosca Lee. In it, a man is tasked with writing a demon's Memoir. The man tried to avoid the demon by visiting a church. But the demon came to the church anyway. The man said he was surprised the demon was able to come in. The demon replied that some of the people who come to church are the worst of all (or something along those lines).
Later in the book, the man asks the demon why he never visited him at his apartment. The demon replies by saying there is too much spiritual static there. See, across from the man lived an older woman. She was a Christian, cared for the man, prayed for him, hosted a Bible study, etc. She walked the faith.
This shows the power of prayer. Prayer can change events. Prayer can move mountains. Prayer can change hearts. Prayer has power. It has spiritual, wonderworking power. God shows us that through his Word. And he is still showing that today. We just need to be looking for it.
So, are you following God? How often do you pray? Do you have faith that moves mountains?
If you haven't guessed by now, I enjoy writing. Well, I should say there are times I enjoy writing and there are times I need to write. By need to write I mean that writing is how I express myself.
I've kind of likened my writing expression to the song from the musical Hamilton. One of the lyrics says, "why do you write like you're running out of time?" That's how I feel when I need to write. If I don't get out that expression then, I will either forget that feeling or the words. Or I will explode depending on why I feel the need to write. Writing is one way I express not just my thoughts and feelings, but my creativity as well.
That's why I usually ask people who I meet this question: "how do you express yourself?" Some people express themselves just by talking. Others express themselves through science, art, or many other things. But the key is to find some way to express your creativity and emotions.
God created us. He CREATED us in his image. That means God is creative and the creator. Since we were created by him in his image that means we are creative as well. Even if you may not feel creative, you are because God made you. You just need to find what outlet you have for your creativity.
Now, if you are good at expressing yourself with your words you may not need to find an outlet. You may not need a way to tell others how you are feeling. But, if you have trouble with letting people in, with telling people how you are feeling, you must find an outlet. You must find a healthy way to get those feelings out. There are many ways to do that. You could write, paint, draw, do science experiments, work on cars, or whatever to show others how you are feeling. Then, you can tell others, "I created this so I can express this feeling I have."
So, do you have a healthy way of expressing yourself? What could you create for God today?
You ever have one of those nights? You know, the ones where you can't sleep because your mind is going. Or maybe your body just hurts. Or for some other reason you just can't sleep. Yeah, that’s been happening to me a lot lately.
I did a lot of reflection on my life. That was good and I didn't dwell on it too much. But now I'm struggling with the future. I am a creature of habit. I like it when I have a plan and know what's going to happen. I can deal with change, but I don't like a lot of changes at once.
That's where my head is at. I'm laying in bed with a tired mind that won't stop. I'm laying in my bed with a body that is physically exhausted from work. But I can't sleep. I know I need it. I know that God is with me, and I don't need to fear or overthink things. But I can't sleep.
I lay here wondering. Wondering where I should live. Wondering what will happen with my relationship next. Wondering if I should stay at my job or find a new one. Wondering if I should continue coaching. Wondering why my social life is pretty much nonexistent. Wondering why my body hurts so much. Wondering why I can feel negative thoughts that I don't like creeping in. Wondering about pretty much every aspect of my life. I lay here wondering.
And, as I wonder, I begin to wonder what I should do at this immediate moment. Should I keep trying to sleep? Should I read, pray, talk to God, sing, continue my trains of thought? The thought that kept interrupting those thoughts was the song lyrics, "oh no you never let go." And that thought helped open a new thought train.
What am I sure of? Honestly, not much. I don't know if I will live in this apartment for the rest of the year, if I will stay in this job, if I will keep coaching, if I will make new friends, or if I will live through the night. Yeah, sometimes the thoughts are kind of morbid. There was nothing I was sure of. Except, that God is with me.
I had that thought then peace washed over me. I was only sure of one thing and that was God. He's there. He's with me I the good and the bad. He's with me when I'm overthinking things. He's with me as I sit here in the dark typing this. And he has a plan for me. He's got one for you too.
So, as I sit here in the dark, I haven't figured out much. I don't have a plan. And, if I'm being honest, that doesn't bring me much comfort. But there is someone who is comforting me right now. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, you can have his comfort too. And you can be sure of one thing, or I should say, one person: God.
