For those of you who know me well, or have read my blog, you know that each year I have a spiritual focus I work on. That doesn't mean I forsake other spiritual growth, but it means I'm consciously focusing on that goal throughout the year.
This past year I focused on relationships. I focused on relationships at different levels and tried to grow in my relationships. To some of you, this discipline may come easy but to me it isn't the easiest. I'm a person who doesn't like small talk. I like questions, getting to know people at a deeper level, and showing love to people in the way they need it. This can be intimidating to some people. While for others, it can be hard because they wear masks and are not authentic with others. People notice that and that may be a turn off.
This past year, I worked on engaging in conversations with people I know and people I met. I tried to begin with smaller talk and waited to go deeper until I felt the relationship was growing. I made time for others, even when I was tired or very busy. I also began a discipline of a prayer calendar where I would ask people what they needed prayer for and I prayed for those requests each day.
What I learned is that balance is important. I knew this already, as I know I didn't want to become a starving baker, but I became more firm in knowing what I needed. When we began to spend too much time with people, I was able to look at my husband and say, "I need a break." We are both introverts, so that's helpful and he understands where I'm coming from.
I learned that people can tell when you really care. Relationships are about give and take. Sometimes, we do a lot of the giving in certain relationships and that's okay. As Christians we are called to serve others and love them. Sometimes that means we don't get anything in return. Other times we need more help so we do more of the taking or getting. That's okay as long as there is a balance and we don't over-take from people.
Which leads to the final thing I learned: relationships require sacrifice. When I learned what someone needed sometimes it required my time, energy, or money. That's not always easy to give up, but it is what we are called to do. That's what Jesus did. He knew when he had to spend time with the Father but he also knew how to balance that with loving others. Seeing his work on earth is such an encouragement to us. He is the one who we should be emulating in all ways, but especially when it comes to relationships.
So, what are your relationships like? How have you shown love lately? Is there any area of your spiritual life that you need to work on?
