I'm Fine

   When I was younger I fell into a trap. People would ask me, "how are you?" I would reply with, "I'm fine." It didn't matter if I had a fantastic day or if I had a horrible day. I always said, "I'm fine."

   When I was in college I met a friend who helped me change this answer. She asked me, "how are you?" I answered, "I'm fine." She could tell I wasn't fine and said, "you know what fine stands for? Freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional." I had never heard that before. She told me it was from a movie. It got me thinking about how many people actually feel that way when they say, "I'm fine."

   More than likely you don't always feel this way when you say, "I'm fine." But, many times, people are not honest with others about how they are feeling. I think we do this for a few reasons. 1. When most people ask "How are you doing?" People don't really care, they just know it is polite to ask. 2. We don't want to bring anyone down, seem like we are complaining, we cannot tell people how we are really feeling, or we don't trust that person. You may be asking, "why does it matter when I ask this question, or how I answer it?" Please stay with me.

   When we ask: "how are you doing?" We should care about the person enough to expect them to give an honest answer. Philippians 2:4 says: "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." We are to care about people. Over and over in the Bible we are told to love others. We can love others by caring about them enough to ask "how are you?" And actually expect an honest answer. We also have to actively listen to the answer then, if the person wants it, give advice. We must remember that if we give advice we cannot expect the person to take it. We must care about people enough to love and listen.

   When we respond to: "how are you doing?" We must remember to be real with others. Hebrews 10:23-25 says: "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." It is important for us to encourage one another. How can we do that if we are not real with others? I'm not saying that every time someone asks, "how are you doing?" We should say mean things about others and go on and on about all of our woes. I've said it before and I'll say it again: there is a difference between venting and complaining. Venting is healthy because you are sharing with someone who can encourage you. Complaining is when you are trying to make someone look bad by saying horrible things about them to everyone, in essence you are gossiping even if what you are saying is true.

   Are we to use discretion when we answer, "how are you doing?" Yes, we should not tell a random stranger how we are doing and we should not tell someone who is directly involved with the situation. But, we can at least answer the person honestly. If we are not doing that we'll we say, "I'm struggling." And leave it at that. If we are doing great just say, "I'm feeling great." Then maybe you can share why you are feel great to glorify God.

   So, when you ask someone "how are you doing?" Will you care about their answer? When someone asks you that question will you be real with them? Will you encourage others by helping them feel better and telling them things in your life that glorify God?

   Image from here.