A typical greeting that my friends give me is
"hi." Then I cringe inside a little because I know what their next
question is probably going to be: "how are you?" Now, that's not
normally a question people would cringe to. I didn't used to cringe at it
either. Then I thought about the question and how people usually answer. That's
what makes me cringe.
Normally, when asked that question, people answer with "fine, good, alright, etc." Those answers are okay, if they are the truth. But, many times when you are asked that question do you answer honestly? I'm not saying you need to pour out all of your problems to a stranger or even a good friend; but if you don't answer honestly then you are not being real with others. You know how people say that Christians seem holier than thou or perfect? Well, this might be one of the reasons why. We are not truthful with others.
Like I said, I'm not saying you need to say everything bad that's going on with you. But, if you answer that question by saying, "I'm not doing too well." That then strikes up a conversation. That person then gets to see a bit of you they may not have seen before.
I'm not saying that we need to be pessimistic when we answer this question; and we don't need to tell our life story. What we can do is be real and lift up God at the same time. We can say, "I'm not doing too well but I know God's at work. Here's how I see him working..."
That's not the only reason why I don't like this question. I also don't like asking it because I know I'm probably not going to get a real answer. I'm a coach and a teacher. I enjoy lifting others up if I can. I work with High Schoolers when I coach. High Schoolers have many problems and their answer to this question can change from hour to hour. I tell all of my players that when I ask this question that I expect a real answer. I'm there to help them grow in soccer as well as life. I want to build relationships with them because I remember how hard that time of life can be.
I ask my players: "how are you, really?" I'm fairly good at reading people and if I can tell a player may not be telling the truth then I say: "are you really doing alright?" That's when I usually get the truthful answer. Then I try to help that player if I can.
See, people need to know you care before they care to let you know. If you ask that question then move on, it seems like you don't care. Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love God; and the second is like it: love others. If we are not willing to stop for 5 minutes and show someone we care then we are not doing what Jesus commanded us to do. People may not open up to you right away but if you keep showing you care they may eventually. Then we will be following Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." We are called to encourage one another and love others.
So, when someone asks you: "how are you?" Will you answer honestly? When you ask someone "how are you?" Will you actually care about the answer and help if you can? What can you do to show someone you care today?
Normally, when asked that question, people answer with "fine, good, alright, etc." Those answers are okay, if they are the truth. But, many times when you are asked that question do you answer honestly? I'm not saying you need to pour out all of your problems to a stranger or even a good friend; but if you don't answer honestly then you are not being real with others. You know how people say that Christians seem holier than thou or perfect? Well, this might be one of the reasons why. We are not truthful with others.
Like I said, I'm not saying you need to say everything bad that's going on with you. But, if you answer that question by saying, "I'm not doing too well." That then strikes up a conversation. That person then gets to see a bit of you they may not have seen before.
I'm not saying that we need to be pessimistic when we answer this question; and we don't need to tell our life story. What we can do is be real and lift up God at the same time. We can say, "I'm not doing too well but I know God's at work. Here's how I see him working..."
That's not the only reason why I don't like this question. I also don't like asking it because I know I'm probably not going to get a real answer. I'm a coach and a teacher. I enjoy lifting others up if I can. I work with High Schoolers when I coach. High Schoolers have many problems and their answer to this question can change from hour to hour. I tell all of my players that when I ask this question that I expect a real answer. I'm there to help them grow in soccer as well as life. I want to build relationships with them because I remember how hard that time of life can be.
I ask my players: "how are you, really?" I'm fairly good at reading people and if I can tell a player may not be telling the truth then I say: "are you really doing alright?" That's when I usually get the truthful answer. Then I try to help that player if I can.
See, people need to know you care before they care to let you know. If you ask that question then move on, it seems like you don't care. Jesus told us the greatest commandment is to love God; and the second is like it: love others. If we are not willing to stop for 5 minutes and show someone we care then we are not doing what Jesus commanded us to do. People may not open up to you right away but if you keep showing you care they may eventually. Then we will be following Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." We are called to encourage one another and love others.
So, when someone asks you: "how are you?" Will you answer honestly? When you ask someone "how are you?" Will you actually care about the answer and help if you can? What can you do to show someone you care today?
Philippians 2:4, 1 John 3:17-18, John 13:34-35
Image from here.
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