Saturday, September 30, 2023

The Discipline of Forgiving

   There are times where people hurt us. People lie, people betray, people don’t listen, people don’t seem to care, and much more. We are all sinful beings. We are not perfect. We all make mistakes. But, when someone does make a mistake or hurt us, what are we to do? Simple answer: forgive. Simple yes, but not always easy to do.

   One time a friend of mine hurt me. The friend lied to me. In my heart, after the friend told me, I had already forgiven them. I had prepared my heart for such a thing to happen in advance. That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t still hurt by the friend’s actions. It just means I was able to extend mercy in that moment. 

   Other than the hurt and a bit of anger, the biggest thing I struggled with after the event was guarding my heart. I had been hurt by my friend. Trust had to be rebuilt. There was a time where guarding my heart was easy. But as the friend began to show how remorseful they were, I began to break my guard down. I wanted to let them back in. I wanted to trust them. But how could I? Wasn’t a time of discipline needed for that friend to understand what they did to me?

   I had to find a balance. I am not my friend’s judge, God is. I had to follow Hebrews 12:11 “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” I had to keep my heart disciplined. Again, trust had to be rebuilt.

   I also had to remember Luke 6:37 “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven.” I have failed as well. I made mistakes and God’s mercy was extended to me. The discipline was not mine to give. God is the judge. He had already forgiven my friend, but that didn’t mean that growth was not needed. That didn’t mean that my friend would not have to go through a time of discipline from God. 

   Healing was needed for both my friend and me. When I had gotten through my mourning, confusion, and anger I had felt peace. I felt the spirit in my heart again. What my friend did was wrong, but in the end, it made both of us stronger. It helped us both grow in our spiritual walks.

So, when someone wrongs you, what do you do? Is there anyone you need to forgive?

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