Before You Say Something: Soccer Lessons

"Before you say something think: is it helpful, is it necessary, is it said in love?"

   As previously mentioned soccer is a grueling sport. But, to make matters worse in High school you could have 19+ games in 2 months. Those games are not typically spread out either. One year we played a game Friday, Saturday, had off Sunday, then played Monday and Tuesday. Needless to say the girls were exhausted. Then when you are not playing in games you have practice every weekday you don't have a game. That's a lot of time with the same people. If you get along with each other that's great... If you don't get along with each other well let's just say things don't go so well at the end of the season.

   Many times when the players are tired and things aren't going well things are said in anger that those people may not mean. Or, they may not think about. I remember countless games where tensions were him and people screamed at me. Do you think that helped me at all? Do you think I was listening to their message? Do you think that encouraged me to play harder? No, it really didn't it just made me feel worse about myself.

   This is where this saying stemmed from: "Before you say something think: is it Helpful, is it Necessary, is it said in love?" In the heat of the moment people say things they may not mean to say. But, like a tube of toothpaste, once you say something you can't take it back. You can apologize, and many people do after the game, but the damage is done.

That's why we need to stop in the moment and think. Is what I'm about to say helpful? Will this help this person improve their game? Can this help my team? Will this help this person improve overall? If you are going to say something to someone you work with will it be helpful for them or will it hurt them?

   Next we need to think is this necessary? Do I need to say this? Is this pressing to say right now or should I wait to see what happens or get more information?

   Finally, if you get past these first two stipulations, you have a responsibility to say what you say in love. Think about a time where someone came to tell you something good that would've or did help you improve; but the way the person said it made you not want to do what the person said. Did you listen to them or did you get defensive? If you don't say what you feel you need to say in love, then that person may never improve and you will have lost a relationship.

   Galatians 6:1 says: "Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted." Did you catch that? You should restore that person in a spirit of gentleness. That means in a  spirit of love. Rather than saying "that presentation was horrible Jim. Why did you decide to present it that way?" You could say, "Jim that was an interesting presentation. Maybe next time you could try to look at everyone as you are talking. If you want help on the next presentation or any more suggestions I would be happy to help." Do you see the difference?

   So, do you think before you speak? If you don't what can you do in order to do a better job of correcting someone in the right way? How can you show someone you love them today?

   Image from here.