Soul Ties and Trauma

    There's a shirt that our church has sold in the past. The shirt says, "Your trauma is not my drama." When I first began going to that church and saw the shirt I thought, "that's a bit harsh." Perhaps you thought that as well. Then I began getting to know why the shirt says that and it makes complete sense.

   In the past, I've talked about caring and yet not caring about people. While here on earth, we have a mission to share the good news of the gospel and love God and love others. We love others by acting like Christ and helping them. Sometimes, in helping people, we become attached to them. These are called soul ties.

   Soul ties are attachments to the things of this world. These can be people, places, or things. Some soul ties are good. Most of the time, the ties I have to my husband, family, and friends are good. They lift me up, we point one another to Christ, and we love one another. But there are times where these ties are not good. If a family member got hurt by someone or a situation and I begin to let that bleed into my life where it impacts my feelings and my day so much that I'm not reflecting Christ, that's not a good soul tie. 

   This is what I mean by trauma and soul ties being connected. Traumas are events or experiences that paralyze us emotionally and can also affect us physically (ex. PTSD). Most of us have probably experienced trauma at some point in our lives. This trauma can be carried with us for a long time. I've had friends and family who have gone through unthinkable things, most of the time it was not their choice. I've seen both sides where some people let that trauma impact their lives to the point that they are not living anymore or they try to numb themselves in some way. There's also been people who overcome these traumas because they trust in God. 

   Let's say I had a friend who had something traumatic happen. They tell me about it and I begin to see it impact their daily living. This impacts how I feel and I begin to feel the same way they do. This is why the shirt says, "your trauma is not my drama." It doesn't mean we don't care. It just means that we are going to cut that negative soul tie and not let your event, horrible as it may be, impact our own lives. We will love you and pray for you, but we cannot let your situation bleed into our lives and emotions lest we take on that trauma as well. When we pray, we will ask God to help you. We will ask that you give whatever happened to him and trust that he's taken it from you. This will help you out of the trauma hole and cut the soul tie with what happened so you can move on with your life. That's what God wants for us. He wants to take our burdens and for us to trust in him.

   So, do you have any trauma or soul ties that need to be dealt with? How can you give those to God today?

The Tingle

   At some point or another we have all felt it: fear. Some of us have felt that emotion more than others. I personally, struggle with anxiety. It is a bit hard to explain how exactly it feels but I can tell you in my experience my heart feels like it's beating fast, it feels hard to catch my breath, and my brain sometimes feels like it is tingling.

   I've learned some ways to help combat my anxiety but that's not what I want to talk about today. One week I had a mini anxiety attack. Then, that same week, I went to Camp YoliJwa for a meeting. We had a time of worship there. While I was singing, I started to get a tingle in my brain again. This time the tingle made me feel joy.

   I found it incredibly odd that I would get a tingle in my brain when I was afraid and when I felt joy. Why would my brain do that? Then I thought about the devil and how he tries to move us away from God. The devil likes to copy God. He literally wants to be God so that makes sense. One tool the devil uses is fear. What's the opposite of fear? Some would say courage or bravery, but I think the Bible has another answer as well.

   1 John 4:18 says: "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." Throughout the Bible we see the devil spreading fear and God showing love. Even in reading God's word we see his love in us physically. 

   There have been a few studies done on the connection between the Bible and our brains. Dr. Michael Ferguson is a man who studied this. He found that: "The researchers also noticed that while reading the Bible, high amounts of dopamine were released through the brain. When your brain releases dopamine you are likely to be more focused, motivated, and happy overall."

   We literally get happy and have joy when we truly read the Bible. Not skim it, read it. Dig deep into it to grow and find out more about our Lord. It is also like when we worship God. 

   So, what tingle are you feeling: fear or joy? How can you grow closer to God? How can you help others grow closer to God?

https://www.therapyforchristians.com/blog/what-are-the-psychological-benefits-of-reading-the-bible

Take a Hike They Said

    Have you ever been hiking? It can be a fun experience depending on the difficulty and distance. Well one year my husband decided he wanted to hike to flat rock at Camp YoliJwa. I told him I'd do it if we did it in the morning so we could see the sunrise and so it was cooler. He agreed and we got my siblings and some of their friends to agree to do it as well. 

   We started out strong. Then we began to go up steep hills. I had done the hike before, but it had been a while. And this time I wasn't in the greatest shape, my allergies were acting up, my knee was in pain, and I had asthma. I had a lot going against me, but I wanted to try to make it. 

   I started to feel my breath becoming ragged, so I stopped. I continued after a bit. Then after a few more minutes I could feel it happening again. I stopped and took off the warmer layer I needed because it was cold. I let someone else take the lead at that point so I could go at a slower pace. It happened one more time after a bit. I sat on a rock this time.

   At that point I could feel a panic attack coming on. We were over 1 mile into a 5-mile hike. I felt like giving up and going back. I felt like I was a burden to the others and especially to my husband who stayed back with me. Then my husband asked how I was feeling. I said I felt like a burden. He said not to worry about the others but worry about myself. He said I was fighting a lot more than he was because he was just fighting being tired. He also said not to let it steal my joy. 

   Those were all the things I needed to hear. I had major fear in my heart of letting others down, of letting myself down. I was so focused on others and what they thought that I wasn't focused on me and my needs. I got back up. I kept walking even if it was slower than I wanted to. Eventually, I became the leader again for a time. Then we made it to flat rock. It was a nice view. 

   The trek back down the mountain was a lot easier. And we had some good conversations along the way. Had I decided to turn back, I would have missed out on the sights of God's creation and some bonding time with other Christians. I would have missed a lot if I would've listened to the fear and doubt. And that's how it is in most instances in life. If we listen to the fear and doubt Satan sends our way we miss out on good things. On the things God has planned for us.

   So what challenges are you facing now? How can you trust God in those challenges? How can you trust God when you are afraid and doubt?

The Abyss

    You are walking along minding your own business. Suddenly, a large area of blackness is out before you. It calls to you. The doubts in your head rise out if it. Your fears claw up the side and into your head. Anger begins to boil in you. It's in you and calling out to you from the abyss as well. The anger toward yourself for doubting, for sinning. The anger from what that person did to you. It's there and it begins to consume you. Then the guilt comes. How could you give into doubt, fear, and anger? Depression falls on you like a waterfall. 

   The abyss is calling. It would be so easy to just step in. Just let it take you. It is so much easier than fighting.

   Or, perhaps you are already in the abyss. You just keep falling in the darkness. What's the point of it all anyway? But you face a choice.

   You can choose to fall in. You can choose to keep falling. Or you can choose to grab the wall and climb out.

   The first step is that choice to reach out and grab the wall. But the climb won't be easy. Also, you can't do it on your own. You must call to God. He's the only one who can help you take each step out of the abyss. The abyss is different for all of us. But what we have in common is we need to admit we cannot get out on our own. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." God holds us up if we choose to follow him, believe in him, and ask for help.

   So, what's your abyss? How can you take steps to get out today?

https://youtu.be/F5Y6G_NMEbc

Held During Anxiety

   There is one time in the year that my dog freaks out the most: when we go on vacation. That's because he needs to travel in a car for 30 minutes to my Aunt and Uncles' house. He does not like car rides. He will whine, cry, growl, bark, cut our legs with his nails, etc. The thing I didn't understand is I am holding him. I will literally hug him, and he will still be freaking out. It did not make sense.

   Then I thought about how I have anxiety too. I whine, cry, growl, and get upset when problems come into my life. Yet, I am being held by the Lord. He is literally wrapping me in a big hug, and I still have anxiety.

   In those times I remember Isaiah 41:10 which says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I don’t need to fear because God is with me. In the highs and lows he's got me. He loves me. He helps get rid of the fear in his great strength.

   So, do you believe that you are held by God? When fear and anxiety appear in your life what do you do? Who do you turn to?

Never Leave Your Side

   I love my dog Jak Jak. He is a fun, energetic, loving chihuahua papillon. Whenever we come home, he is so excited. He runs up to us and wants a hug and kiss right away. Then, after we get settled, he stays in the room we are in. If we decide to go to a different room Jak Jak is sure to follow. There are times where he literally follows us right behind our feet. He doesn't typically leave our sides.

   Thus, when I am home, I typically don't feel alone. However, there are times when I'm out and about that I feel alone. I'm sure you have felt that way as well. In times like this I try to remember that Jesus is always with me. Isaiah 41:10 says, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." 

   In times where we feel alone, we can go back to verses like this. God tells us he is with us. He never leaves us or forsakes us. We are never truly alone. Jesus sticks closer to us than Jak Jak sticks to his family. We just have to lean on him when we feel alone or in hard times.

   So, are you feeling alone today? What can you do to remember that Jesus is always with you?

 

If You Are Afraid: Soccer Lessons

"If you're afraid you're more likely to get hurt."

   I once had a player who I coached who was afraid every time she went into a tackle. She didn't want to get hurt. That makes sense since soccer is a tough sport. It is full contact. And, depending on the referees, it could be total contact where you are basically tackling each other. Needless to say the amount of injuries has gone up in the past few years.

   Now, as a coach it is my job to make sure the girls are as prepared as they can be for a game. That lessens the chances of them getting injured. However, some girls still have residual fear. Some of them don't feel prepared enough. Others had a previous injury and are afraid of injuring themselves again. Whatever the reason, I have found that if a player is afraid of getting injured then she is more likely to get injured. If a player doesn't go hard into a tackle but the opposing player does go hard into a tackle then the player who didn't go hard will probably get hurt. That's just how the sport seems to work.

   It is the same way in life. Philippians 4:6-7 says: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." If we are anxious or afraid of life we are expecting to get hurt. That also means we are not trusting God. God doesn't want us to fear. He wants us to have peace. He wants to have a relationship with us that is so good that when we are afraid we go to him. If we go to him, his word says that we will have peace in him.

   So, do you have anxiety problems? What can you do to better trust God today? I challenge you this week that whenever you feel anxious to talk to God and let him give you peace.

   Image from here.

All is Found: Frozen 2

   "But can you brave what you most fear?" (All is Found, Frozen 2).
   "When all is lost, then all is found" (All is Found, Frozen 2).
   Have you ever felt like nothing is going right? Maybe something bad happened at work or school. Maybe something bad happened to a family member or friend. Maybe you lost something important to you. Sometimes all those things can happen at once. That's when we ask "why are so many bad things happening to me?"
   Sometimes we feel like we have lost a lot in life. Sometimes we fear more loss. How can we fight the fear of loss? Joshua 1:9 is a good reminder for us in those hard times of fear and loss. Joshua 1:9 says: "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." We are to be strong and courageous, not because of our abilities, but because of God. God commands us not be have fear, or be frightened, because God is with us wherever we go.
   Whatever we may go through, whatever we may lose, God is with us. That's why we can "brave what you (we) most fear" because we have God with us. We don't need to fear with him on our side because he has a plan. And, when it seems like we have lost everything, we need to remember that "all is found" in Christ. The things of this world are temporary. The only thing that will matter in heaven are our souls. Even if we lose everything, we will still have Christ because he loved us enough to die for us.
   So, what do you fear? How can you trust God more? Do you believe that even if you lose everything on earth you will still have all you need in Christ?

Image from here.