The Friendship Fast

   Ziad Abdelnour, a CEO and investment banker, once said: “You have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” One area in life where I have always struggled is friends. I have issues making friends. When I do make friends, I try my best to keep them but most of the time I lose them for one reason or another. I never quite understood why until a series of events occurred this year.

   Around March I had a really crazy dream (link to dream blog here) that made me realize that I may have been idolizing something. That something was friendships. Every time I lost, or came close to losing, a friend I kept thinking about the friend. I wondered if something was wrong with me, or if I did something to offend that person. Friendships had become more important than my relationship with God.

   During the rest of my college semester I didn’t have much time for friends so I didn’t think about the dream. After school was over I knew I needed a break from everything so I took a step back and did not contact friends too much. That was when I began working on my relationship with God. I started to pray more, talk to him more, and learn more about him. So, inadvertently, my friendship fast had begun.

   After about three weeks I realized that I felt better about myself and more God-confident. I sent texts to friends on their birthdays and talked with them here and there, but talking with them was not my whole life. Then I went to Camp YoliJwa where the theme was friendship. During the week we talked about fasting and that was when I realized that I was kind of doing a friendship fast. That’s when I began to call it the friendship fast. But, even after talking about friendship for a whole week I didn’t quite feel that I was ready for friendships again.

   That was when I realized that I had different types of friends. I had some for a reason, for a season, and for a lifetime. Some of the friendships I have had were toxic relationships where either I was doing all the work, or the friend was not a good influence on me. Other friends came into my life to impact me for a short time and I am so thankful for the time I had with them. And, the friendship I have had for a lifetime is with Jesus. He was there for me even when I didn’t realize it, or didn’t want him to be there.

   This whole experience has taught me so much about who I am in Christ. For so long I have said things happened for a reason; but I wasn’t quite trusting God when it came to the relationships in my life. And, when a friend left me I did everything I could to get that friend back. Now I know that if a friend is only with me for a season it is for a reason. And, if those friends ever need help from me I will do my best to be there for them; because that is what God calls us to do (Matthew 22:36-40).  

   Please understand that during this friendship fast if a friend would text me or talk to me I would talk to them. But, I did not make talking to my friends my whole life like it used to be. And, if I needed to do something to help others I did it because God wants us to love him and others.

   There are many lessons I learned during this experience. First is that I have friends who I need to sharpen and they need to sharpen me (Proverbs 27:17). Next is I need to trust in God’s plan and timing. Third is there will be some friends I have that I need to build up and be an example for (in other words let Christ’s light shine through me). Ultimately this experience taught me that I need to lean on God. He will be my best friend for all eternity.

   So, are you idolizing something? Do you need to fast in order to come closer to God? Are you leaning too much on others and not enough on God? Is God your BFF (Best Friend Forever)?

   Exodus 20:3-6, Proverbs 18:24, John 15:13

   P.S. I know Matthew 6:16-18 says that you should not boast about your fasting. The point of this blog is not to say “look at me I fasted.” It is to state the lessons I learned during my time of fasting in hopes that others who read this may learn those lessons too.